We have a fairly new relationship. and he resides out of state. He is type to want to shut out everyone including me and I want to support him. He told me last night he is "scared and embarrassed".
Freddie, I mean this in the nicest way possible, but I kind of hope you go through a stretch of unemployment sometime real soon. You could definitely use the empathy lesson it would provide. - A month ago
Question Asker
Sorry, I think your comment is really disrespectful especially to those who have lost a job. - A month ago
This is rough. I went through this with my boyfriend, but we lived together. It was pretty easy for me to judge his emotional state. I don't imagine it will be as easy for you.
I guess what I'd say to do is what I've done with long distance friends who have lost their jobs. Paid a little more attention to them via phone and email, and been relentlessly supportive and positive. It's so easy to get down on yourself when you're unexpectedly unemployed, and I think the best friend a person can have in that situation is someone who won't let them get to that point.
Thanks, I did make a cute/funny care package to send to him today.... it is not easy at all. He knows I am worried about him which makes him want to pull away because he does not want to worry me. It is a vicious cycle. At least if we were in the same state I could at least "be" with him but we are 10 hours by car 1 hour by flight away from each other! Thank you so much for your support! - A month ago
The only thing you can do is listen to him and let him know you believe in him. He may want to withdraw for a little bit. If that happens let him do so. How far away does he live from you (I know you said out of state. How far?)
Thanks for the support. He lives in TX. We try to see each other once per month. He has only been gone since June to take the job. Our communication suffers at times because I don't want to say anything to upset him. I support him by doing some of the things you suggested as well as send cards, care packages. It is one of the most difficult times for both of us and I just don't want the relationship to end. We care for each other vry much and feel we have a mature relationship (no drama). - A month ago
Answerer
As hard as it is it's the best thing to do. He will make it out just fine. :) You believing in him even when he doesn't believe in himself will mean a lot in the end. - A month ago
sorry this is kinda long but please read :]honestly I used to be the clown on my tennis teamand play around non stop because I didn't care about the...
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Describe your ideal first date; Where do you go? What do you wear? How does the date end?
Living in NYC, an ideal would be a walk in Central Park, then rent a row boat and we'd go around the lake for a while that seems fun and that would give us time to get to know each other 2. Then eat at my FAVORITE sushi place (MATSU- it is great) If she likes sushi. Dress causal blue jeans, t-shirt maybe a short sleeve button down over it. End a walk down street semi-silent, kiss on cheek bye.
Afterwards..what will your date know about you?
My personality,amazing taste in food, (MATSU is really great!!), and just random stuff about me. My goals for a first date would be to just have fun and let you know who I am.
(Age:36 to 45)
When: A month ago
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