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hostkeep1

Moving from close friend to boyfriend?

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hostkeep1 (Age:18 to 24)     When: 11 months ago
Views: 745     Category: Relationships
So a girl who I have grown really close to is now single. We've started talking everyday at really random times she'll text me, "hey hey bff!!". In fact the first time I called her after they broke up we talked till my phone died. I do understand that she feels lonely after being dumped after a two year relationship and yeah I care about her enough to just fill that void in the short term, but I want to make it more now that she's single. How can I move the relationship on without coming out and saying "do you wanna date?" She knows I care a lot about her, hell I've told her I love her and would do anything for her, but clarified it as friends so she wouldn't freak out. So help please.

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leighlockett
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leighlockett (Age:Under 18)      When: 11 months ago
Well, at first just help her through the lonliness that she is going through, don't just pounce on her or she'll think you're crazy!

Spend time with her and hang out as friends.

What is she normally attracted to in a guy? Other boyfriends she has had typically seem to have traits like...?

Continue to tell her you care about her and you love her...DON'T say things that sound like you're making up her mind for her or she will just get annoyed, like: I know you don't care but (blah blah) and stuff like that...it's irritating.

then tell her you like her as more than a freind and have for a while (only if you have!) and see how she reactes. she may like you the same way and was just waiting for you to make the move. or she may be willing to give it a try because you are such good friends...

i don't really know if that helps a bunch but...take it sorta slow...dont jump right into it. and see how it goes.

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j-tayla
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j-tayla (Age:18 to 24)      When: 7 months ago
Well, I'm in the same boat as you buddy, what I did was I told her how I felt about her and that she should take all the time she needs to get things settled before anything happens, I said I would wait for her but I wouldn't wait forever, so it's pretty much up to her, she knows how I feel so it's her choice, I would suggest you do the same, tell her how you feel but also tell her to take as much time as she needs and that you'll be there for her and if she doesn't end up choosing you well then move on. That's what I would do.
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DeanW
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DeanW (Age:25 to 29)      When: 11 months ago
I don't know that there is a move other than the truth. It's ever so much scarier when you want more than just to get laid, but the thing is that you see something in this girl that you truly dig. She is relying on you for emotional support, which does get you trapped in that Noel Crane spot. But who knows what could happen? It could turn out poorly. That could happen. But maybe it won't. You owe it to yourself to try.

I don't know if you have to call it a date, but take her out to dinner, go to a movie, bring her some flowers. You might be able to get the wheels spinning in her head with subtle clues that will make her think about how great you are. Stealing from the writers of "Felicity," you could (depending on how long it's been) give her a "break-up kit" or "getting better kit," which consists of things like 2 movie tickets or a home cooked meal. Spend time with her in dating type situations. But, above all, be willing to risk getting your heart broken.
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roten27 Very good points here. I agree that it should not be rushed at all. It does suck that you need to put yourself out on the line like that but that's the only way any answers will be found.

Dean You are a great advise giver - 9 months ago
 
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