We have been together on and off for 14 1/2 years. We were married and divorced and after being apart for 2 1/2 years we got back together, we did not remarry. We have 3 kids together. In the 2 years that we been back together there was a lot going on in my life. My mom was really sick with cancer and I helped take care of her a LOT. She recently passed away in June. So needless to say there was a bit of rough times for us to deal with. In the last two years we been back together I have gained weight. I am a pretty attractive woman with a good personality. That is what made him fall for me in the first place. I had three of his children. So the extra weight was an issue for my confidence. I gained a lot because of stress and depression over my mom and everything I had to go through with her in the last couple years. Me and him barely ever have sex and there's like no affection there. I don't really feel it and I'm seeing that he doesn't. I feel like we're just together for our kids and are just roommates. Well since my mom died, I have lost about 25 pounds. I am starting to look like my old self again according to the feedback I get from a lot of friends and coworkers. Well, since I'm looking better and doing more things with friends and stuff (I was isolated for a long time) he seems to be getting jealous and like he wants to all of a sudden gradually show more affection towards me. I don't like that what now that I'm looking better you wanna jump on me and pretend like we're just fine. I don't know. It's a mess. I don't see us being together for too much longer but right now I'm just trying to get my life back on track and get my head clear. But I feel very weird about me and him. I don't know what to do or think anymore sometimes.
I'm sorry to hear about your mom passing away. It's not easy but you seem to be qutie the trooper. So, what's the question? Why is he acting that way? Well, I think the confidence and independance may be attracting him again. I think he likes that you are bettering yourself all around and therefore has now started to realize the attraction he had with you a while back. The next step is deciding if you want to stay with him or keep moving on with your life. I realize that you have kids and that can be a bit hard to just up and leave. However I am a firm believer that kids have a better chance at thriving when their parents are happy and stable. If that means that you two are better off apart than that should be the case.
I see your point. people say to not make a major decision within a year after a major loss like I have experienced but I believe that I am seeing things more clearly now. I'm leaning towards moving on with my life and turning over a new leaf. I think it's too late for me and him and we have been apart before and it was hard but something seems like it would be different this time around because I feel like I'm more in tune with what I want in life. thanks :) - 3 months ago