Confused...Just Friends?

Ya, I agree with the girl that brought up the kid. I was in a situation very similar to this with a girl in which I'd kill to be with in a heartbeat... Although her kids spooked me off. Guys don't like kids. There are some out there. They are extremely rare. I personally know that all me and my guy friends get spooked when a girl says oh ya this is my son or daughter. Our first thought is EEEKKK! She's looking for a DADDY!

Then we probably look like we get the deer in the headlights look and friends is enough at that point. We don't want the responsibility. The way we look at it as guys is, it's not OUR kid, so why should we have to correct your possible oops?

Or possibly he is just spooked from past relationships, the other bad things he said happened, and he is noticing trends in your personality that seem similar that at first he didn't notice about you. For instance a side you didn't choose to show on those first few perfect nights.

And yes to the girl above us guys can get spooked just like a deer or a cat. It happens but normally our natural instinct of that is for good reason, we rely on our instincts to not get hurt emotionally.

Now the getting spooked every once in awhile thing, we don't just get spooked for no reason, guys are far more simple then girls make us out to be we are like a book! Black and White. If we got spooked you simply had to do something to spook us period the end. Weather it was the kid or something she said, or did, she did something that's all I can tell you. As a guy that gets spooked once in awhile this is how the spooked thing works. To an extent we use our instincts kinda like a girl uses her intuition to gauge weather or not it's OK.

Most likely don't quote me on this cause I'm not him. He may just want to back off and be friends for a bit, to see if you show more of that ugly side since to him that's how he sees it. Or he just wants sex, and realizes that a relationship would just end up tearing you two apart, and hurting you which isn't what he wants, no guy wants to hurt a girl unless she hurts him first. Then we get HUGE vendeta's that we carry for life.

Or he could just be being honest, maybe HE is just asking for TIME, I know I do that to test a girl once in awhile, to see if she is trying to FORCE the relationship, it then tells me what I really mean to her. It tells me if she wants me for some other reason IE to be That daddy she's looking for, or if she just wants me for me.

Any more issues? Or don't get something I've said as I'm tired right now... contact my on my yahoo messenger screen name which is the same as this one.

alpinestars_2002795

Lata~

It sounds as though this guy really likes you but has had his heart broken into so many pieces that he does not feel like he is able to give you the love he wants to be able to give you. I would give him some time and as much space as he needs. It may be helpful for you to be honest with him and tell him exactly what you said here. If he really loves you, he will try to stay in the relationship with you. If this happens, you need to show him that you accept him for the way he is and love him anyway. If he realizes that you love him even though he has a broken heart, he may respond to your love. Just letting him know that you are there for him may be a help in healing his emotional wounds. But find out first if he really loves you and is just hurting or if he really is not interested in you.

I am curious what happened in your situation. I am in a similar situation. Did he ever get back in contact with you?

I agree with what the other women have said, also, if he doesn't have kids of his own, the idea of taking on a woman with a daughter may really be freaking him out. Give him space, but let him know that you can't simply be friends due to your own feelings. Tell him you'll be open to him should he decide to consider a romantic relationship, but to do anything else would be a lie.

Also let him know that if he comes back, he has to be sure, because if he starts up with you only to break up again, then the man has serious commitment issues, and yo-yo-ing would be unfair to you and your child.

Let him know that if he withdraws after coming into your life once again, that you won't take him back a third time--and stick to your guns.

You should talk to him about this if you want a serious relationship with him it sounds like he freaked out or worried what would happen if you were in a relationship and what would he do if things go wrong.

It sounds like he got spooked. I have no scientific proof but it seems to me that every guy goes through a period of a couple weeks or months wherein they get scared of how strongly they feel for a woman and start questioning everything.

Most of the time they realize that they are ready for commitment and they do want to be with whomever it is they are interested in. Sometimes, however, they never recover from this "spook-syndrome" and it's better to let them go. Otherwise they really can't make guarantees and the relationship will end in failure.

Good luck