Am I shallow or am I keeping it real?

You have your preferences, and that is okay. However, this guy loves you AND your little girl. How many men these days will take someone else's child and love them like their own. And by everything else you say he is doing, then yes, you are being shallow. Outer beauty can fade, but the beauty of the heart is eternal if it is nurtured. As long as he's being good to you, you shouldn't drop him over something like his "unattractiveness. "

Forget what people will think when they see him. If the people you care about think he's ugly, then shame on them for not noticing how he treats you. In fact, I think that's why you aren't physically attracted to him. It seems that you are afraid of what everyone else will say. No offense.

And forget what your ex and his wife think. He is your EX. The only connection you really need with him is with your daughter. Otherwise, he's began his new life. Screw what he thinks.

I think you're being both. That's okay though, it's always important to be honest with yourself (good or bad) and ask yourself and others questions like this. That's how you learn and grow.

Now, you said you guys are great friends (you said best friend EVER) , he treats you with respect, is great with your daughter, sex is good and he loves you both a lot. Yes you are being shallow. Everything you listed are the qualities that will make a long lasting healthy happy loving relationship. Real love is about having positive that make you overlook the flaws. I'm sure you aren't perfect either maybe looks or some personality things, but that's okay. No one is. But this guy is willing to overlook that to really love you and your daughter. What's most important? Your ex is hot but you guys aren't together. From the sound of things, it will probably work out better with this guy.

Over half of the marriages fail in America, I think mostly because we are too shallow. Guys overlook personality for looks, and women overlook whats inside for money or social status (this includes looks). In my opinion spirituality (a genuine relationship with God) is important too, but that's another story. (I have an article about this, if you are curious).

The point is: This guy treats you great, things didn't work out with your ex who is hot. Who cares what your ex or his wife thinks?! They aren't feeding you or your daughter, HE is the one giving the love and satisfaction to you, not them. At a certain point in life, you stop caring what other people think and do what you like and is good for you. Don't let other people's criticism affect what you do, you can never please everyone, so why try? Do what you want to do, it is much less strain and at the end of the day you feel better doing what you did what you really wanted to do.

Looks are skin deep and fleeting (we all get old), you have gold in front of you, you just have to see it. Don't blow it :)

It sounds pretty shallow to me. Usually I defend the fact that there needs to be a physical attraction to someone before you start dating, but you've even said yourself that he's wonderful in every way except for that. If you've have already started a relationship with him and your only hangup is that he's not as hot as your ex then yeah that's shallow. However, when you accept the fact that you are a shallow person then you should dump him, because everyone, shallow or deep, deserves to be happy and if he needs to be hot to make you happy then that might not be something you can change.

Your doing a little of both it seems looks are not everything by any means but regardless of his looks if you were really in love with him he would be gorgeous to you! So maybe your not as into that kinda relationship as you think and you just did it not to hurt his feelings or like you said lose his friendship maybe you should take a step back and figure out whats really bothering you.

This is a tough one. I personally don't think you are being shallow unless you are like that all the time, thinking that all guys must be good looking for you to date. I am a single mom and I have 2 kids. There are a lot of guys that treat me right and love my kids but I do not have feelings for. I think you just don't have feelings for him. I think you are trying to feel something because of how he feels about you and your daughter but you can't.

When you have feelings for a person it doesn't matter what they look like. You feel it deep down inside. When you are not feeling it, you won't be attracted to him. So I suggest before it gets late to tell him how you really feel.