Well, I recently got out of a 5 1/2 year relationship that's been off and on for sometime now. Two years ago I met this other guy (T) who I met because he worked with me over the Summer. My ex-boyfriend (C) broke up with me around the time that I met (T) and I was heartbroken. I was instantly attracted to (T), personality, looks, everything. Well, he is orignally from Chicago and moved back, he only came down here for the Summer and I visited him and we even shared some nice kisses (nothing else). Well now, (C) and I have broken up again and this time we're giving it some time because we're both sick of make up to breaks up. (T) once again is back in the picture. I really like him but I think its more so physically because I am very sensitive and he's harsh at times and I don't like it. But, he wants to come down here and I do too but for one I don't know if its too soon for two, I don't want him to get the impression that we're going to have sex. I would like to but (C) is the only guy I've ever been with and I don't want (T) to basically hit it and quit it. He rarely calls me anymore, he's not a sweet guy that checks up on me through out the day and then when he does call me its like at 1am or 12 midnight. I do want to see him, but I want to express to him that I know he's not that into me (which I have and he says that he likes me but I have to understand that he's in Chicago and I'm in Atlanta). So what do I do? What can I say? I'm still seeing (C) and we're still getting physical but I know (C) is talking to other girls and before he's had sex with girls talk he's talked too so I don't know what he's doing. Please help, I'm sooo confused.
are you in love with either C or T? if not, then can just be friends with benefit and move on to find a new guy. you're still very young, so meet someone you won't have so much doubts about.
Well, I'm still in love with (C), but its weird cause I know he's doing his thing. I really don't want a friend with benefits. I'm soo damn confused. I like your idea because I am really sexually attracted to (T) but I'm sooo scared to pursue that. I don't want to be a hit it and quit iit. :(
Answerer
More than a year ago
Sex without strings attach can be great; but gets weird if one partner develops deeper feelings. sometimes those deeper feelings may develop later on, it's much too early to hope for them now. but if you know you're going to be hurt if T is in it just for the physical attraction and won't give you the level of attention you may like from him, then back away now; he should do more pursuing and investment in your relationship with him before anything like sex on a constant basis.
Question Asker
More than a year ago
Thank you sooo much Milkyway, you make great sense. I'm just going to let him do more pursuing. I appreciate your advise.
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