Should you be in a abusive relationship?

This sounds mean, very mean:
-I think and hope this is a fake question. I hope that you made this up so that you can get to be on the "most discussed" section. You seem to be responding to everyones answers by saying:

"he is born mildly retarded and a schizophrenic. getting help on his substance abuse. he's not always like this, he is on medication for his condition. he just need to stop drinking, and he has never cheated"

Every person on this page (and in the world) would tell you to leave him. The only thing positive you have to say is that he's "Trying" to get help, and he has never cheated.

NO ONE SHOULD EVER CHEAT ANYWAYS! You might as well say "At least he's not a murderer".

Here is my suggestion - You have been with him for three years,- leave him for 3 years, date other people. If after 3 years you still think he's a nice guy, call him up. Otherwise, he should be in jail for a very long time, and he should be put on conditions not to be in contact with you.

You know, I hate how you women alway have to come up with a reason to stay with the man or not press charges like "he is born mildly retarded and a schizophrenic okay. he is getting help on his substance abuse. he's not always like this, plus he is on medication for his condition. he just need to stop drinking again that's all." that's still no f***ing reason to stay with him.

I agree with what everyone has said here. Every couple in every relationship will have disagreements. They will argue, there is nothing that anyone can do to change that. However there is never a valid reason for a guy to hit a women other then he is a Jacka$$. You need to protect yourself and look out for your daughter. Leave this guy alone, get him as far out of your life as possible. You will be happier that way. trust me on this.

I don't care what anyone else says on this matter nothing makes it okay for a man to hit a woman...NOTHING!! It doesn't matter if he never cheated on you cause faithfulness is nothing in a relationship without love!! If he loved you he wouldn't be abusive hun and what if he gets aggravated at your daughter. Do you really want her to have an abusive father?? Get him help immediately or out of your life soon!!

Mildly retarded and schizo. what must that be like? Pick that scenario over my child? Not for all the money in the world, not to mention he is abusive. It sounds to me YOU need therapy and help, an education and parenting skills classes, then go take care of your kid and leave this mildly retarded schizo abuser to his own mother to take care of.

Furthermore, you asked a question on a public forum. When you are wrong, you are most certainly going to get the answer you don't want to hear. Maybe you should heed the words of those on here. it's all their thoughts, all similar, all telling you the same thing, but yet you want to argue with everyone and stand by your man. Of course he never cheated because who in their right mind would want a retarded schizo abuser.? Maybe you should ask yourself that question. I can bet he is abusing you because he is jealous of the child by the way. schizophrenics become very paranoid. But like you said you gave up your child for him. so I guess that should not be a problem anymore right?

A man should never hit a woman under any cirumstances. If you really believe your are in an abusive relationship take your daughter and and leave. The fact that you feel your partner is very faithful to you is actually a SIGN of an abusive relationship. In these type of relationships there is a lot of psychologically codependency involved making it hard for the abused person to leave and allows the abuser to keep abusing. Please consider leaving if you feel your are threatenened physically and/ or mentally.

So just cause he's faithful means he can hit you-he's suppose to be faithful and you are not a punching bag it will only get worse and it is that serious if you allow it it will happen notice if you give an inch (slipped up and slapped you)that he'll take a mile (beat the hell out of you ) tempers flare and they are always sorry,didn't really mean it ,and won't ever ever let it happen again LOVE YOUR CHILD ENOUGH NOT TO LET HER GROW UP THINKING DADDY DID IT SO 25 YEARS LATER DO YOU WANT IT TO HAPPEN TO HER? Kids follow examples get out its very hard but I did it then you'll be amazed at how much better life is-GOOD LUCK

When I saw this question I really had to answer it, because I have so much to say! Firstly all I have to say is, I don't care how long you have been with this guy, I don't care if you have a daughter with him, I don't care if you guys are married or whatever. You as a human being deserve way more than being in a abusive relationship. I'm sorry to tell you so blunty like that, but it is the god honest truth.

Secondly can I ask you, how nice is a person that physically abuses you? I don't have to know how many times he has hit you, because it doesn't matter. The fact that he has crossed that threshold says more than enough. In my opinion a nice guy, treats his women with love and respect. I don't see hitting the woman you are in a relationship with in that list.

Thirdly the reasons that you gave ie "he is a nice person" "he has never cheated on me" - sounds like your giving him brownie points ( ill call them excuses) to make up for his behavior. I guess it is part of the rationalization process, so that you don't think that its all that bad. Again the truth of the matter is that you deserve to be treated with respect and dignity and you should not settle for any less.

So with that said - all I can say is, get away from this guy. You don't have to break up from him or anything, just have a little time out. Spend sometime with your girlfriends who are in healthy non abusive relationships. Spend some time doing things that you enjoy doing that help build up your own self confidence and respect and put you in a good frame of mind.

Then and only then, one you have gained some distance and a little perspective should you go back to him and decide what you want to do. I hope that in that time, you will realize that you are a wonderful human being, who deserves to be with a guy who will love, respect and take care of you.

All the best

Hot Alpha Female

Two words! NO & NEVER! Faithfulness means he doesn't hit you and he doesn't cheat
on you! His definitely a piece of s**t and I would leave him in a second especially if I had a child.

Well I think its pretty dangerous to have a guy that's abusive, because you never know what he'll do next , and being faithful shouldn't even count as a reason to stay with him you need to ask yourself this ,do I feel safe around him am I always comfortable around him , and most of all do I think he will ever stop ,and if he really loves me then why does he do this .But if he is willing to admit he has some problems being abusive and is willing to get help then maybe you should give him one more chance because you have a daughter with him ,since you do then I understand that that's another reason not to leave him .
good luck

Basically if you have to ask, you already know what's happening is wrong. It is. Seek help and end the relationship. You are compromising your own safety and sanity by staying with someone who isn't stable. If they're not stable on their own and have bigger issues you'll never be able to have a successful even sided relationship.

Nope. Not at all. If he hits you when he gets angry, how long 'till he hits your daughter?

And it's not even the physical abuse that's the worst. I've been in abusive relationships. The worst is how it begins to change you inside. If he hits you when you make him mad, you'll try not to make him mad. You'll defer to him in everything, even if you know it's not right. And eventually you'll lose "you" and just become his obedient robot. This is bad for you, and will be awful for your daughter. Don't let her grow up in that environment.

It doesn't sound like a good situation to be in. What if he hits your daughter? Do you want her growing up thinking it's ok to put up with abuse, just because someone else might be aggravated?

I know it can be easy to justify, but really, being physical is not how two sane individuals going about addressing their frustrations. I get aggravated with my boss, but I don't go smacking him. See where I'm going with this? It's not ok to behave that way in other social situations and it's not ok in relationships EVER.

If you really want to stay with this guy and are thinking about marrying him someday you really need to get into counseling. If he won't go as a couple then you should go for individual support. I think at this point though I'd probably give him an ultimatum- if not for you- for the sake of your child.