I met and became friends with a man thru my work. We started to date and spend time together at each other's homes. He told me on several occasions that I made him very happy and that I was the bestest friend he ever had. Then he started to pull away from me and I found out that he was on the internet erotic chatting with a girl from another state. Their blogs were posted for all to see on Yahoo and he claimed they were engaged on one of the blogs.
When I confronted him, he said he was in love with a fantasy, that he never had met this person and that he was sorry that he hurt me, that job or no job he wanted us to be ok...and told me that I was the best friend that he always wanted. I asked him to put it in writing and he refused. I told him then, we will have nothing.
Well, then he told me how much I meant to him and that he cared about me. I thought about it for some time, then tried to call him. He never called me back. I left messages, emails everything!
Would you believe I felt bad, when I did nothing wrong! Anyway, I have not seen this person in over a year, I have a boyfriend who knows what I went thru and I still think about him. What happened to me was pretty lousy, but, what I don't quite get is how somebody that claimed to have cared for me so much, could simply walk away, and never look back. I never had a guy call me his best friend before. I never had a guy sound so upset on the phone in the way he was.
Then, when I had time to think, he wouldn't have anything to do with me. I think my problem is closure. I never got it! Has anyone ever had an experience with someone so cold hearted, someone who just turns and walks away when they claim to care? I guess that's the part I don't understand. Thanks for listening.
I dated someone who said that they had a long time crush on me (she used to live next to me when we were little) and fast forward.. Two years later, I came home from on a Sunday night from work and she had just moved out. This is after "talks of future plans" of moving to a new place and all that. We never had a real "fight, or argument." I never saw it coming.. What a coward! I thought. This guy might have been a "fast talker, a con artist" type, you know. Internet b/s, apologizing to you like that, "best friends" line, but he wouldn't prove it when you asked him to (put it in writing). He talks the "talk," But he doesn't walk the "walk!"
It seems like a personal fantasy that the guy you see here and there has behind everyones back. Unfortunately, the internet is a big big place and meeting people is non-stop and things like that can get in the way of your own real-life relationship which is a very sad thing. It is simply because someone telling you things over the internet virtually can offer much more than someone in real life. It rips relationships apart. I am sorry to hear that this happened to you and wish you all the best with your new boyfriend.
It just seems like something that happens in 1 in every few people and that you have to get over it as it was just a past thing. Don't let it get in the way of anything. You will be alright.
Thank you for your kind words. They mean a lot to me. Yes, I am doing rather well. And, would you believe that this guy I mentioned is heavy into drugs...LSD., marijuana, you name it. I met his former coworker who knew a ton of crap that he was into. TY - 10 months ago
I think there's something wrong with him. And it's not that he's cold hearted. He has some weird problems that require help, and in my opinion, you shouldn't think that he's a rat bastard for lying to you about caring and that. He might not even have lied. He's definitely conflicted, so if I were that guy, I'd get counseling.
He was probably really embarrassed/ashamed that you found out what he had been doing in private. Imagine if your boyfriend found some super intimate and embarrassing conversations you had behind his back. Maybe this guy just couldn't look at you the same way after you "found him out."
I know from what you said that you really cared about this guy and could probably "get over it" but maybe he just thought there was no way you would, even if he put it in writing.
To me this was a form of cheating on you emotionally. Sorry you had to go thru that, just find someone who's not stuck in some sick fantasy land- like your new guy =)
Emotional Cheating ... I have never heard of that! That is definitely interesting. - 11 months ago
Answerer
Yea, you can cheat on someone by having a physical connection, and you can also cheat on someone by sharing intimate thought (getting married, erotic stuff, a future etc.) Sharing intense emotional feelings with someone else can be a form of cheating. - 11 months ago
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