Thanks for your reply, I mean to say how to get a man to move from "just dating" to "boyfriend/girlfriend" that's were I seem to struggle with men, they dnt want to date me exclusively, and I thought maybe its becos I open up to quickly, let him see my faults like being over sensitive, talking too much etc.. - 9 months ago
Answerer
It's possible that you're opening up too much. But also remember that there's a difference between "scared of commitment" and "simply doesn't want to commit, at least not to you, or at least not right now."
Are you having sex with these guys? In my opinion, lots of girls sell themselves short. They sleep with a guy too soon, thinking that it'll keep the guy around. But they actually drift into FWB territory. - 9 months ago
Question Asker
Yeh, I think its a case of guys "simply doesn't want to commit, at least not to you, or at least not right now" situation with me. is opening up to soon to a guy a problem? can you explain this to me. I think I show my insecurities too soon...Im virgin, they always know this and know I'm waiting for the right person so they always know that I'm not easy etc... - 9 months ago
If you tell your whole life story the first few dates, for example, that's a way that being too open can make a date lose interest. If a guy knows everything substantial about you within a few weeks, there's not much mystery to you.
Generally speaking, guys want to chase you a little, they want to work towards a goal. So if you make knowing you well a bit of a challenge, it might help keep a guy interested.
One way to be slightly mysterious is to occasionally answer a personal question by hesitating slightly, then saying, "I really like you, but I don't want to talk about that subject now. Perhaps I'll tell you that story when I know you a little better, okay?"
Now the guy has a goal! He wants to hear the story. He'll tell his friends, "She won't explain why she changed jobs last year, I wonder what happened!"
Along similar lines, make him wait for you occasionally. Don't always reply to all his messages immediately. With your behavior, remind him sometimes that -- while you like him -- he's not exactly the center of your universe, either.
You don't have to do these things every day. But occasionally, they might energize him somewhat and keep him interested.
Haha I make all the above mistakes! I'm just too available all the time to them to chat etc...im chatting to a guy who has been losing interest saying that I talk tooo much! so this week, I stopped talking too much, so he asked me "havent you got something to rant about?" I said no, and he asked me again, I then said no, nothin. so he asked me why am I so calm....what my secret? I was like erm...nothing! and I said I had to go. I think it worked with him. - 9 months ago
Question Asker
Does the below conversation I had with him, is that the kind of thing I should be doing with from time to time, not give too much conversation away about myself to easily?? I have cut back on the talking so that I don't bore him/overwhelm him.... - 9 months ago
Answerer
Your chatting example is a good one. You've got the right idea.
Simply zip your lip occasionally.
If you're naturally talkative, you'll need to make a goal of it. "Talk only half as much as I actually want to talk!" Remind yourself to be less open. Occasionally make him pry information from you.
If you're addicted to a mobile phone, train yourself to not carry the phone constantly. Turn off the power and leave it in a drawer some days, so you're not available. Same with internet. - 9 months ago
Question Asker
Thanks for explaining it to me. This has been insightful. I'm very talkative!! even on msn etc...so I will have to clam down when I'm with this person.
i noticed another thing with this guy, he hates it when I bombard him with questions...so when I stay quite, in is own time he starts talking to me about things, his life etc into so much detail, exactly the kind of things I want to hear. - 9 months ago
This was interesting to read but if it's the case why are so many guys adament that they hate girls who play hard to get, like honest and available girls? they say they are not attracted to the challenge but so many psychologists disagree! - 2 months ago
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