I am having a rough time trying to think of a clear way to explain this but I will give it a shot now.
When I think back on the last few relationships I have had and the feeling that I would experience, they always seems to be this set pattern that comes along and I am not sure if this is normal feeling, or am I just loosing interest. In the beginning, When I first meet a girl and we are hitting it off. all the signs are there that I like her and she likes me. I would have this mess of feeling for the girl. These happy feelings. Feeling that I know I am being cared about. I get this feeling that she is as into me as I am her. I see her as something special. I think that most people would refer to this stage of the relationship as the honeymoon stage.
Then, after about 3-4 months of seeing this girl, I tend to almost fall back a few steps and almost lose those feelings and only look at her as just a friend. but a different type of friend. A friend that I can actually Trust with my deepest darkest secrets. I guess you would call it that Bestest of best friends type feelings. It's a weird feeling to go from this hot and bothered feelings to this closeness feeling of a close friendship.
Now normally this would not be an issue I don't think, But due to some of my personal feelings and partly due to the way I was brought up, When I feel these feelings I will call then the second stage of feeling, I have a hard time still being intimate with the girl because I feel that Friends don't do intimate things together.
I Know that this part of me has hurt past relationships because of the loss of intimacy she feels that I am no longer interested in her in that way and she ends up moving on.
I guess I have a couple different questions for all of you guys and girls out there.
1) Has this ever happened to you?
2) What are some ways for me to be able to over come this so that I do not push another good girl away from me?
3) is it possible that I am just realizing that it was not meant to be and this is my way of letting myself know to move on and find someone else?
Feel free to ask me for more details or if you need me to clear something up.
Option number 3 is more likely to be true.i had a friend and she used to tell me what you are saying here,so you are not the only one:p but the thing was that she used to tell me she gets bored with the relationship and can't stick with that person after a while.though we never figured out what was wrong,i told her that she needs some time by her own to figure out what kind of a person she really really wants ,and waits until she meets someone like that. that helped her a little,might help you too.
if U are not like her and U know exactly what you want,you need to add new things to your relationship to keep the naughty part of it alive.
I'd say, "yes, it's possible but not likely" to # 3. From my experience (myself and friends of mine), I see guys getting "spooked" in every relationship right about the time they realize how strong their feelings are for this particular girl. Symptoms of "spooked" include turning into a total jerk, picking fights and even taking a break for a few days. Then they usually come to their senses, accept the fact that they've actually - CHOKE, COUGH, GAG - fallen in love and their relationship moves to the next level.
Maybe you are getting spooked and instead of acting like a jerk, you start acting distant(?)
I don't know though...sounds more like it's just hard for you to think "naughty" thoughts about the woman you care so much for. Hard to mix wild, passionate sex with this angel who you adore on deeper levels.
I bet this happens to guys more than it does girls. I've heard from guys that after they are married with a baby it is hard for them to get that raw, purely sexual attraction for their wife.
It could be a commitment thing wherein you just aren't ready to be in a long-term relationship and your brain is playing tricks on you. Or it could be some deeper issue where you were not exposed to love being playful and sexual so you can't quite merge the two (best friend and sex goddess - all in one!)
If I were you, I'd watch porn with your girlfriend. Whatever tricks your mind is playing on you stand zero chance against late-night Cinemax. Body over-rides brain. Do that a few times until you get comfortable with the fact that she can be the cliche, "lady in the streets but a freak in the bed".
It is helpful and I thank you for your response. The thing is when I am not interested in anyone I feel that I do want a long term relationship and want that companionship, but once it is right there in front of me......I Just don't know - 7 months ago
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What pickup lines do you use to start a conversation with someone you are attracted to?
Well normally I don't usually make the first move only if I'm brave enough to. I can be pretty shy when it comes to that. I would never use pick-up lines. They never work. I would just do a normal "Hey, how are you? My name is ______ ______. What's yours?"
How do they typically respond?
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