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-StillWater-

On again Off Again, Any suggestions?

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-StillWater- (Age:18 to 24)     When: 9 months ago
Views: 382     Category: Relationships

My friend, who is really special to me, keeps breaking up and then getting back together with his ex. She's an ok girl, I met her before but I never actually had a conversation with her. They had a very good thing going on about a year and a half ago, when he met me. With time we became the best of friends (him and me). And then, something evolved from that. I don't quite know how to call it. I think it's love but repressed and a bit tortured...
[believe me, it exists!]
So he broke up with her but we never said anything to each other, we just non verbally kind of 'told' each other we've got 'a thing' here. We suffered for each other but were too shy to do anything! Stupid, but there you have it!
Anyways, when he figured out that I wasn't going to make the first move and that he can't either, he (being horny and all) decided to get back together with his ex. They fight a lot (ad least once a month), they constantly break up and then after a few weeks or a month get back together...it just doesn't sound like love to me! It sounds like they're in this just for the sake of not being alone, and he's not happy, or ad least I don't see it!
He still, always calls me by a pet name he made up for me. I call him by one too, but not when he gets back together with his ex, and I never know when that's going to be so...

I just want to know what's going through his mind!
And if he's in this unstable relationship because he can't let go, because he's horny, or because he's afraid of being alone, or perhaps because he really cares for her.

Thank you for your help!


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Expert Answer on Video

Expert: Matt-Titus
When: 8 months ago
Why Hasn't He Called - Book
Why Hasn't He Proposed - Book
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What Guys Said

rudnick_z
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rudnick_z      When: 8 months ago
tell him to make up his mind he needs to be with someone that he doesn't argue with.

You need to make a move and tell him at least that if he needs a breather he can always rely on you for help. maybe one thing will lead to another and BAM! like emeril says. And maybe just maybe you two will become boyfriend and gf. :)
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What Girls Said

 
Anonymous User
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Anonymous User      When: 4 months ago
It's amazing what people will put up with. The relationship you described is EXTREMELY unstable and believe me when I say it's going to fail. It's just a matter of time before it ends forever. Love is never on and off. If they've already broken up more than three or four times, it's pretty much on its last legs. Every relationship like this is going to fail and that's just how it is. I guarantee that another break up WILL occur before the year is over.

The reasons he keeps getting back with her are numerous. He could just be with her until somebody better comes along for either one of them. It could be because she's giving him sex on the regular which keeps him from going to the bars to pick up random chicks. He's afraid to be alone so he'd rather put up with a bullcrap relationship just to have somebody say they love him..even though he doesn't love her back. But I believe the biggest thing is he has a soul tie that he needs to ask God to sever so he won't be tempted to go back to her. Soul ties are NOT a joke, and when a soul tie is involved, it's extremely difficult to stay away from that person..even though they're poison.

As for you, just keep being his friend. Be there for him as a listening ear. Pray for him to see that his relationship is NOT healthy and for him to find the strength to permanently break off that relationship and NOT go back. . Don't try to bust them up yourself. It's an unstable situation and extreme consequences could occur. The next time they break up, make a move. Sounds like there's something brewing between the two of you and you should go for it. Hang in there.
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Question Asker What exactly is this 'soul tie' you speak of?
Is it a deep caring feeling for someone (arisen from them being together for so long...knowing each other very well...)? - 4 months ago
Answerer A soul tie is a spiritual bond that's formed between two people through marriage, friendship, family, or sex. This tie is so powerful that it bonds the two souls forever. You have to be extremely careful with who you have a tie with. That tie can either help you or hinder you. There have been cases of people being controlled by those ties and not in a good way. The best thing to do is to go to Google and type in soul ties. There's much more info on it than I can give. Hope that helps. - 4 months ago
 
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