What do I do? Final Part 5

Step up to the plate and take care of your responsibility kids want more than anything to know and have a relationship with the man that helped make them and even though you don't have much what you can give is more than nothing at all ( I know because I don't know my father)

What the heck happened to make her run away and push you out of her life in the first place? I can see her getting upset that you didn't want to keep the baby after she decided she did. But, then you asked her to marry you and she still pushed you out of her life. That sounds really odd. Either something else was going on or she is evil! EVIL. Who does that to the man they loved and to their baby? And fools around with your friend with all this going on? She's a nympho and uses men with no regard to the children she's bringing into this world left and right.

Make sure your daughter is okay. And I'd get visiting rights at least then find a way to visit. That little girl is going to grow up and wonder why her real dad doesn't love her. When that happens, you should have records of sending birthday cards, Christmas presents, etc. to prove that you cared for her all along - which you did and do. Whatever you do, do it in the best interest of that little girl.

OMG, this must be so hard for you! Thank you for giving all the details. I know there's a cut-off for questions. I'm going to submit feedback in that thing on the right to ask for more characters.

Anyway - I really, really don't think you should sleep with her. It's going to be hard because she's gonna throw herself at you but if you do, it will cause many, many more problems. Honestly, I think she sounds like a selfish brat and you deserve 10 times better. So I wouldn't even consider trying a relationship with her. She will hurt you again but worse.

Next, and most importantly, your daughter. Do you know the guy she's married to? Is he a good person, a good dad? Can he give her the same or better life you could? If he can then you may want to consider leaving things as is. If he can't, fight like hell to get her back. But any fighting will end up hurting your daughter so be careful.

She might use your daughter as a weapon. Don't let her! I'll pray for you. :)

That is quite a story and I appreciate your enthusiasm for both her and your daughter. Most people even in better circumstances would have not cared a bit about her and the daughter especially after 7 years. You must have really loved her.

As for the sex, I would say Hell No... even to the conversation of it over the phone and you should make it clear to her before she comes down. And then, she will try to get you in bed regardless, but there too should you resist her temptations. It looks as if history is repeating itself. She fooled around behind your back before and while she was pregnant with your child and she is doing that now to her husband. Actions speak louder than words, so don't believe her.

At this point your only concern should be your daughter. From what you are saying, she already knows the husband as her real father. If it were me, I wouldn't say her anything else. She is still too young to figure out what is going on. The flip side is though you need to know that she is treated well and fairly by her mom and the husband. If there is the tiniest sign of unfairness, you should do everything you can to correct that.

Sooner or later, she will learn that you are the real father and will start questioning why, how and if. You should be well prepared for that and I don't mean collecting the receipts of child support or the christmas cards and stuff. I mean, you need to build such a relationship with her that at times she should wish you would be her father, not the husband her mom is married to. When the time comes, she shouldn't ask, "so who is the real father" but know that you are the real father. It seems as though now is not the time, she is still so young

With the enthusiasm I felt, I am certain that you are the kind of man who would do whatever he sets out to do. You just need to keep supporting your daughter as you always have been. Nothing ever is gone unnoticed.

And definitely no sex with the mother. Not even the talk of it. Good luck and keep us posted.

Even though you explained a lot of things, since this is a sensitive issue, I can just say it all depends. As marisa said,
is the guy a good guy? If I were you, I would find that out, and if they are happy and whether she would even consider being with you again.
After that, more than likely, you will need to give your rights. It would be hard, yes, but if it's going to be the best for your kid and even for yourself, you will have to deal with it.
But I'm still confused about that part that, she has been married and government was still making you pay for child support.

Well if she was married, the whole time you were paying child support, isn't that something child support should have informed you so you don't have to pay ? If she is really married you should get that money back you have been paying. But I'm not sure child support services would have missed that.

On the other hand, about what to do, if she doesn't want you, and it's been 7 years, the kids already have a father. I don't think it would be good idea to destroy, or try to destroy a marriage. You should definitely ask to see your kids but other than that I think you need to sign your rights over.