I met a guy about 4 years ago and although he had a girlfriend at the time they did not live together. We came really close friends and started having a sexual relationship, during which there were always little comments about us "being together", or him moving in with me and I would in a joking way say "yeah right"!
About a year later he asked to meet and he told me that he and his girlfriend were moving in together and I was happy for him at first. It was after I left and tried to picture my life without him and I tried tried tried to do the right thing and be a real women and say I won't see you anymore and I wish you all the happiness in your relationship now. When I next seen him, I got physically sick and could not tell him. I realized in that moment I was in love. And that many years ago I let him walk away and them move in together. That has been the biggest regret of my life. Fear and insecurity prevented me from pouring my heart out and taking that chance. Now that I am older, I think back to the meeting we had when he told me they were moving in together and I can't help but wonder if he was waiting to see if my reaction would have been different, after all, he was the serious one about us "being together", I was the "whatever" one.
Now 3 years later, he still calls me and we keep up with what is going on in each others life. I don't know what to do, I can't move on in my life because I feel like the moment I should have spoke up and went after what I wanted, I didn't. I feel like there is so much between us not finished. I don't have his phone number, and he calls me a few times a week. There is a bond that obviously neither of us can let go. I have not been able to have a healthy relationship because I am in love with him. I see him often and we spend time and talk. The feelings are definitely there. I have not had sex with him since early last year and I have honest to god tried my best to do the right thing. My heart tells me to not let him go. He tells me a lot that I am letting people hold me back from happiness and passing up opportunities. He never bad mouths the mother of his child but he has expressed that he can't marry her. I feel that he has feelings for me too or he would stop contacting me and let me try to move on, but am I getting so stuck on trying to be a good person? I don't want to be someone who breaks apart a relationship.
Should I really lay all my feelings out there after all this time and tell him I have loved him all along?
I feel for you, I really do. Here's something you have to hear, but it won't be easy:
Forget about this guy. If he truly loved you, he'd leave his girlfriend and be with you. People (usually women) love the thought that someone around them is in love/infatuated with them, and I'm afraid he's just using you to up his confidence - a constant ego boost, as it were. For the sake of your own health, get on with your life and find a man who will love you with all of his heart. It's out there, it really is.
Of course, these sort of things are very complicated, but from what I've gathered, it's the best option. Have strength, and I wish you luck.
I disagree because sometimes you can b with a girl but love another one. Its hard to let one girl go when you care so much about the both of them and you know that if you make a decision and choose one then the other one would b hurt and upset with you forever. Its just a tough thing to do so yea I totally disagree with you. - 5 months ago
I tend to think c-rock is right. but you could always just tell him, even if only for yourself, considering how much you regretted not doing it originally. it would maybe bring closure, if nothing else. wishing you well. - 2 months ago
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When: 9 months ago
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