My wife had an affair while I was overseas. She won't admit wrongdoing saying it was over, but she didn't want to tell me while I was overseas. When I got home she changed her mind and decided to work it out. This was three years ago...and we've been struggling to overcome it. Things were going ok, but recently a girlfriend and her have been joined at the hip and I am getting pushed aside. She rather go out drinking with her girlfriend and party saying now that our son is 11 yrs old, shes making up for the "20's" she missed due to raising our son. Sex is almost nonexistent and I don't feel like she is interested or attracted to me, despite the fact that she says she loves me. I make the most money, and we bought a house together 6 months ago. So I guess the bottom line is am I being used as a sucker in love? Or just overly paranoid and she is just living a part of life sh missed??
She needs to grow up. You are a saint for putting up with her behavior and trying your best to deal with what are her issues. I rarely suggest an ultimatum card but in this case something drastic will need to happen or she'll keep walking over you and that isn't fair to you or the family you're building. I think it should go something like, "okay, I'll be better in the [romance, domestic chores, etc.] area and you will [go out with me instead of your girlfriends, let me join you in bar hopping - it'll still be fun, stop being retarded, etc.]
bowditchjulia
(Age:36 to 45)
When: More than a year ago
Sounds like your most likely in your thirties and as a woman of thirty something I think that the excuse of wanting to make up for those lost twenty something years is a bunch of bull. She sounds like she just wants to have fun at your expense and wants you to feel guilty so that you will let her do whatever she wants. Your relationship has already been tested and she should be trying to redeem herself instead of manipulating you and causing you to question her actions. She sounds immature and selfish and with a track record like hers she is most likely playing you for a fool.
She is absolutely making up for some of the life she missed which you should encourage her to do and understand her need to do it. BUT she's walking a thin line and if she is not happy to come home to you and her life as a wife and mom after a night out, your relationship is in big trouble. The grass is always greener on the other side. She's going to throw her life down the drain if she keeps it up though. I've seen that happen and it's ugly.
Yeah, you are being a sucker. She's getting the best of both worlds and walking all over you. Screw that. She's not the only one who "missed her 20's". If she wants to have fun, fine, but she should want you around, not that girlfriend.
asked 3 days ago
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