I was out of town this past weekend and my fiance went out to the bars with a old crush from high school on friday night. Then on Saturday night he took her out to eat and the were at the bars again until around 2:30. I asked him if he had seen her when I talked to him Saturday afternoon and he told me no, he was just out with the guys and home by 10:30.
What does this mean? He says he doesn't have feelings for her, but when she goes out with us and I'm around he treats me like I'm not even there. When I get upset about it he tells me I'm overreacting, but I don't think I am. I've told him in the past that I have a bad feeling about her. She just got divorced and now that she's single she's calling and texting him quite often. This isn't the first time this has happened either. He has ditched me to spend time with her and has been doing that since summer (when she left her husband).
He is also lying to me about smoking, I told him 4 years ago when we started dating that I would not date someone who smokes. This is the 2nd time in the past 4 months that I caught him with cigarettes. I can't take the lying any more and I just want someone else's opinion if I am overreacting. I honestly don't think I am. I just asked him not to spend time with her alone, if I'm there it's fine (even though he treats me like I don't exist when she's around).
I really believe that it is too hard to let go someone you have feelings for and you are engaged with. Nevertheless, you really really need to find some strength and leave him. I have been through this painful situation recently and fully understand you. He does not deserve you. You know that. Move on! You will understand it was for the best later.
Run. He isn't the one. He should not be going out with Ex's when you are engaged. That is disrespectful. Call her ask her the truth. They always like to tell the truth. I would let him go. He lies about stuff now, what happens when you get married. You should be his number one priority. You should get all of his attention. You need to tell him this.
Ok first of all he is your fiance and he should not be lying to you. When someone lies, they are hiding something. I think because if the relationship is solid both partners should be honest about everything especially if you are planning to get married. So question is, why marry someone who lies to you? Think about that. There is nothing wrong with going out with an old friend but when you lie about it you are hiding something. The fact that he is ditching for her should tell you something too. Your best bet is to leave him and move on. Obviously he is not the right person for you. You deserve better.
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