Turns out I met this girl at work and we hit it off pretty good, problem is she does have a BF currently. Normally I wouldn't even consider trying to break up two people, but I been her friend for a good 10 months and for the most part I hear nothing good about her BF, and she seems to be depressed often at work.
We hang out at times, gone to movies together and she seems to like me but I'm not 100percent sure on how much. Gone to concerts together but I think I'm just Friend zone. I wrote her a letter and gave her a CD explaining things on how I felt. Her response was basically what made me think I'm currently in the Friend-zone.
She says I'm her best guy friend she ever had, and she has a certain love for me but not the way I want it to be. the following day she asked me to go to a club with her.
Is this kind of behavior normal, I mean I really do like this girl. Seeing her depressed at work sucks, but of course I want to be her friend but it would be awesome if I was more. She has a Boyfriend but she was willing to go out to movies with me alone a few times, she asked me to the movies first.. we spend all day talking pretty much at work all the time we work together, we stayed up 5am before just shooting the breeze. Came with me on a hour drive to support me doing standup comedy, when it was like 2degees in my car cause I have no heat.. On new years she spent most of the day with me all the way up til 11:30 we went and saw aaron lewis together and then she invited me to her bf's house cause she didn't want me to be alone on new years.. All this stuff has happened recently, but after I told her how I felt ect.. and it didn't really get awkward like I thought it may if she turned me down she's asking me to go clubbing?....
Please help i'm sooooooooo confused.. :(
Update: Just came back from seeing a movie with her, thank you guys for the advice since I'll go clubbing tomorrow with her and friends perhaps ill meet someone else, but it will be hard to take a break when I'm always around her @ work since we work in a small area
10 months ago
If you've already told her how you feel and she doesn't feel the same way, it's time to stop letting her string you on. She likes hanging out with you and obviously is affectionate towards you, but the bottom line is that she's not attracted to you. I'm guilty of this, too. I have a guy friend who has had a crush on me for 2 years, and even though I have no romantic feelings towards him whatsoever, I like hanging out with him because of the attention he gives me. Trust me, this girl meant it when she said she didn't like you in the same way.
Take a break from being with her for a while--it might be hard but she's never going to stop thinking of you as her "best guy friend" unless you stop acting like it. Make yourself less available. The best thing to do would be to date other girls. You might meet someone you really like, and it would remind her that you're desirable and even potentially make her jealous if she sees you acting like a good boyfriend as opposed to her crappy one.
Waiting sucks but it's really the only thing you can do. Just let it play out. If her relationship with her boyfriend is bad enough, it will end. But whatever you do, don't pressure her. She seems to have a lot on her mind right now, and if you push the issue you might push her away.
And if she does end the relationship, be the shoulder she cries on, but still don't push the issue. Just let things happen as they're supposed to.
Well if you really wanted her to cheat with you or break up with her boyfriend , you did it all wrong, you wrote her a letter and made her a cd telling her how you feel your now a friend. The rule usually goes never tell a girl how you feel about her until after you've slept with her. Move on my friend move on to another girl who's single.
You're a good friend to her; she cares enough about you to potentially make her relationship with her boyfriend worse (ex. inviting you over to his house).
She might enjoy your company, but it may be that she's not attracted to you. You have two options:
1. Make an ultimatum. In other words, "If you aren't willing to be more than friends with me, then we can't stay friends."
2. Remain friends.
I'd pick the second option, especially as you two are co-workers. Forcing her hand will only lead to awkwardness that you'll have to deal with every day (which is why most employers don't allow relationships in the workplace).
Well, I'd say that you are really enabling her to deal with her pathetic boyfriend by being a good male friend, and if she is getting the attention and affection she needs from you, then she may never feel the need to leave her current bf.
I'd suggest trying to move on, and just leave things as friends right now, she already hinted to you that she just wants to be friends, so to keep hoping for something more would be kind of a stretch. Just try to move on, and if she wants to be more than friends with you, than she will realize that you are moving on and make her move. If she doesn't want to leave her boyfriend then you will already be over her, and can just be her friend.
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