I posted a long story with questions in it last night, and haven't gotten too many responses, maybe it was too long and the questions not clear enough so here's the short and Skinny of it-
I Recently saw my X love but didn't say anything to her because I didn't know what to say, and I had heard she was married. I looked her up and stuff and found her myspace profile and sent her a message. I never got a response, but she doesn't get on myspace very often. Like once every 6 months or so, but I'm sure she read the messages.
Now that I know she is divorced, and I can get a hold of her, should I? It's been almost 10 years since we've spoken. Should I take her not emailing me back as a sign she isn't interested, or do you think the lack of her doing the MYSPACE thing could have something to do with it (She has no pic, no friends ETC) I really loved her and would like to see her and talk to her again, but I don't want to invade her space or have things be awkward if I just show up at her moms house looking for her (which she may be living at). What do you guys think? Also, if you would like to read the whole story, look for the post titled "Should I contact my X love" Thanks, Ramsey.
This is a hard one. It depends on how many messages you've sent, and the amount of time that has passed since you sent them. You run the risk of looking desperate and psycho if you are too persistent. Sorry for being so harsh. You sound like you really love her, and you want her back. I don't know if this is the best advice, but if you really want her back, and you can't forget her, you may want to make one final romantic gesture and try her mom's house. If that is unsuccessful, you will have to forget it. See what advice other girls give you, because I am a romantic, and I believe in going after the person you love.
I've sent a few messages spaced out a couple of months in between. The last message I sent was about 4 months or so ago, maybe a little longer. It's not something I'm obsessed about, but when I do think about her, it makes me want to see her. - 8 months ago
Awww. Honestly, if it's been 10 years and you're still thinking about her then definitely give her a call. I'm not too sure about just showing up, because that might be too forward/awkward depending on her situation. However, if you think she's at her mom's I would look up the # and give her a call. Even if she did read the myspace email, it would be much more mature and becoming of you to call her so she knows you really, really mean it. I think that's awesome!!! I'd like to know how it goes when/if you do.
Well when I sent her the emails, it wasn't anything romantic, just things like how are you, how have things been going, that kind of stuff. I doubt she has any idea that I still have any feeling for her. - 8 months ago
Answerer
The odds are even more in your favor then...I still say go for it!! What do you have to lose? - 8 months ago
Aside from what other people have commented on (in which case, I agree with all of their responses) if you want to see if she read your message on Myspace, go under the "sent" category in your inbox. If it says "sent" it means she hasn't read it. Otherwise, if it says "read" she's read it but hasn't responded to it.
Aside from that, is there any other way you can get a hold of her via internet? If not, then the best step you can take is to call her mom and see if you can attain her number or stop by to see her (given she's living at her mom's) best of luck to you! :)
Thanks, but she only gets on my space like twice a year. The messages only stay in the sent box for 14 days. I'm going to do it, when I get the balls up to call. - 8 months ago
My guess would be that she didn't know what to say to you. You said it has been 10 years since you've talked to each other and that's a really long time. She could've have lost feelings for you over that time and with you popping up on myspace, she probably expect it and that didn't make things much easier. If my ex popped up out of no where on myspace 10 years from now, I would be shocked and at a loss for words. She could be wondering what took you so long to contact her. You should find another way to reach her and don't rely so much on myspace, not every person replies to messages they receive (i know I don't lol).
Try finding her phone number in the phonebook or call her mother and ask her how you can contact her. If things don't work out at least you'll know that you tried. But once again, if she's one of those people who logs onto myspace every 5 years, don't get so upset if she doesn't reply. I hope this helped :)
I say go for it. What's the worse that can happen? She tells you she's not interested or you two pick things up where they left off if she is still interested. However--keep in mind, if she is newly divorced like you say. You need to realize that she might still need space to fully heal from her past relationship.
I say...keep it simple if you do make the move to speak with her again. Don't let your feelings for her get a hold of you. Take things slow, go for coffee, talk to her-and hear what she has to say. Catch up on life first before you even try to see if there is anything there to pursue.
Another thing to think about; she was married, divorced, and 10 years have passed. She may be a completely different person than the one you knew. Be prepared to become reacquainted with her if you two do meet. It'll be hard to pick up where you left off. - 8 months ago
I agree with the other two comments, just go for it, what have you got to lose, maybe try being more casual about, it so she is not too uncomfortable, just try to catch up on old times or something, and then if she agrees to meet you, try being more up front about trying things out again, or giving you another chance. At least you can try to be friends.
I saw that one but didn't respond. Sorry, but my impression was that her life had not turned out too good since you two parted. I thought she got your message and didn't respond. Maybe because she was uncomfortable with how things turned out or didn't want to go back to the past. I don't know, but it seems like she's changed a lot and that the same connection isn't there.
It made me think of Garth Brooks' song "Unanswered Prayers," which, if you don't know it, is about a guy who loses his first love, meets her later, and understands why she wasn't the one.
Thank you for the insight. I have heard the song but never really listened. I will listen when I hear it again. Do you think it would be wrong for me to try to contact her? I wouldn't mind so much if things didn't work out, it would close the book for me. - 8 months ago
Answerer
No, I don't think it would be wrong. It's not out of the question that she is unhappy with how things are going for her and would love to hear from you. Be kind to yourself and find out one way or the other. You remind me of Gatsby and that's a good thing - 8 months ago
Question Asker
Thanks again. The only thing that has me wondering is why didn't she write back? Even just to say hello. I've written back people I didn't even really like. I don't know if that's supposed to me a sign of some sort. - 8 months ago
Question Asker
Please keep them coming. I'd like as much insight as possible, especially female. - 8 months ago
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