My best friend (the guy I'm secretly crazy about) was over recently for lunch. We were joking around and making smartass remarks to each other. He said something and I replied. Before I realized what I was saying, uncharacteristically, I said something very dirty. Like I said, not like me at all. Needless to say, I was embarrassed and he was embarrassed. All afternoon, he would look at me, turn red, and grin really big. When I'd see him gazing, I'd tell him to stop. Of course, I was laughing and shamefully red in the face. He would deny thinking about it, but you could tell where his mind was. He would say he was thinking about work or whatever. When I'd ask for specifics, he naturally could give none and turn more red. This went on for the whole 2 hours he was here. Funny but very uncomfortable. He even remarked about how shocked he was, but it seemed like a good thing. A really good thing. (Whew ! It was very graphic. I still don't know where that came from ! It was so out of left field. My gal pals and family haven't heard such from me !)
I've talked to him a few more times since then (only one day passed without a conversation or three), so I know we're OK and he wasn't weirded out by it. Flirting is still there. A little more bold, but not TOO much.
My question is this: Without getting perverted or anything too sexual (I like innuendo and double entendres better.), what can I do (comfortably) to keep the momentum going ? We are still "just friends", but this seems like a great opportunity. He seemed really intrigued, but I was too shocked with myself to keep the pace going. (He was shocked because he said he didn't think my mind worked like that. He always thought I was prudish I guess. I'm not really. I just don't want to play that game with someone who isn't crazy about me. It's a "trust" thing, I guess. My ex-H used to "kiss-and-tell" when we were MARRIED. Also, I'm not usually forward AT ALL. Working on that, but is very difficult for me. Socially awkward on a GOOD day.)
What are your thoughts ? (Just please don't ask what I said. Even here, it's too graphic to repeat !)
Also, we make bets with each other all the time. What would be a really good bet to make for either side that would be win-win ? Remember, nothing sexual. Just something to bring us closer. I'm thinking of these: One has to cook an elaborate meal for the other OR Foot massages.
No goofy responses, please. I really like this guy, but (as I've said in a previous post) he needs to "make the move". I'm just trying to create opportunities. Emphasis on the word "need". It's not a game to me. It's not about control. I don't need the control of making him ask. I think there have been several dominant women in his life in the past. This is something he really has to do for his self-esteem and to help him decide what he really wants.
Thanks for reading !
Update: (Ran out of room in comment for Aedak) Anyway, wasn't game-playing. We tell each other most everything. I'd sent him a text because a cute guy (but way too young) was hitting on me and following me around the store. I told him he may expect a weird call
7 months ago
Update: From me, but to go along with it and why. He said OK. Later, he asked about it. I told him the guy was cute, but really young. I heard NOTHING from him the rest of the night. (No big deal. We often send a random text like that. The next morning, he did
7 months ago
Update: Text me basically just to say hi. I invited him over for supper. He didn't accept or decline, so I assumed he wasn't coming. Just before I sat down to eat (SIX hours after the tex), he calls to say he's coming over. That was fine too. He never mentioned a
7 months ago
Update: Movie though. So, when he gets here, he asks if it was alright that he invited himself over for a movie. I said it was OK. I have it from good authority that he had made other plans the a.m. before, so it SEEMS he changed plans in order to come over. ???
7 months ago
Update: Sorry about all the updates, but what do you honestly think? Slow's fine. I think he may be wading out into deeper waters, one toe at a time. Very cautious. I'm just wondering if I'm reading him right & need to keep encouraging. Am I just being goofy? Thx
7 months ago
I think it's safe to say you're blowing this way out of proportion, it's really not a big deal and he was probably turned on. You probably just surprised him, that's all. :)
I'm sure he knew you were embarrassed and can empathize because guys have those kinds of situations every once in a while too.
Sorry. I meant the momentum the comment caused. He actually invited himself over yesterday & brought a movie. 1st time in 1.5 yrs. I wonder if new development was caused by comment or me telling him about getting hit on by a cute guy. Wasn't game-playing. - 7 months ago
Question Asker
As for how I really felt about the comment, I was kind of turned on too. Surprised myself. A week later, I still am. Maybe I made a subconscious 1st move. ;) FORGOT: He was only two steps away from me all night last night ! Explain THAT please. Thank you. - 7 months ago
Answerer
Aha, well I think you should just be yourself. If something like that happens again, it happens. But I wouldn't go out of your way to try to continue with something that seems like it was a one time thing like an embarrassing perverted comment. - 7 months ago
Answerer
The momentum will keep going on its own, so just go with the flow and things will happen naturally. - 7 months ago
Question Asker
Sorry again. I'm not being very clear this a.m. Still 1/2 asleep, I guess. Not planning to make another lewd comment. Didn't plan last one. Want momentum of the progressive closeness to continue with no backsliding & how to encourage without being overt. - 7 months ago
Answerer
Like I said, just be yourself. You're over thinking it and trying way too hard. If you have chemistry things will work out naturally. - 7 months ago
Question Asker
OK. Thanks. Maybe I just need more sleep. Hopefully, chemistry will just take over so neither of us will have to think about it at all. It will just "happen". LOL. Like the comment. *Rolling eyes* Hell, he may be overthinking too.
Cheers! - 7 months ago
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