Anonymous User

Guys how would you feel if the girl you love finds comfort in another guy who loves her as well?

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Anonymous User (Age:18 to 24)     When: 9 months ago
Category: Relationships

How would you feel if a girl that you love text you, pouring all of her problems out, telling you that her best friends left her alone and that she needs to talk and she needs you, but you don't answer her, an hour later she text you again telling you that she's sorry she drags you into her problems and force you to listen to her, and that your love rival, that one guy that you know has been pinning over her for a year (and she makes him her rebound guy) had come to her aid, and that she's fine again, thanks to your love rival. How would you feel about it? What will you do? She needs you, but you ignore her, and you drives her unto another arms..


Update: And how about this, if you're, let's say you always read her text just before you go to bed, always before you go to bed, and this time she needs you badly and you failed to be with her just because of this. Who's fault is it? The girl's fault or the guy? And she finally prefers the comfort of another men who loves her? Is it wrong for her to do so?    9 months ago

3000 characters left  Anonymous
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From Girls  
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What Guys Said

  •  
    Anonymous User
    N/A  
    Anonymous User
    2 months ago
    I'm actually the rebound guy here... And she's done everything you just described with me previously. I have also felt the other side of this too, with the same girl. Before her and I got together, she was considering going with the other guy. But I talked with her about it and explained that because of my job, I can't be there for her all the time like I used to. She considered my words and was going back to being normal with me. Then the other guy played the depressed and suicidal card and then she starts feeling pity for him. So she said she shouldn't do anything because she doesn't want to push him further. But I convinced her that it was probably a lie and an excuse for her not to be with someone else. She agreed, but didn't tell him we were getting together. So when he found out, he wouldn't leave her alone about it. He was getting extremely sensitive to everything she was saying to him. If she said something that sounded flirty to him, he would tell her to stop and text me if she wants to flirt. That was pissing her off, and she said that he should stop texting her then. He's still alive and well, just complaining every now and then. It's not a matter of blame/fault, it's a matter of maturity. If you feel that someone is ignoring you, talk it out. In my case it helped me get my girl back. If they are ignoring you, they don't care for your feelings and are worthless to you. Just comfort your lover and make sure they're OK. If they need help with anything they can't do themselves, be sure you're right there next to them to help. That's all you can do really.

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  •  
    Anonymous User
    N/A  
    Anonymous User
    9 months ago
    I'd feel a bit jealous and sad.

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  • Mrsupaakeru
    3061  
    9 months ago
    There's no good guy or bad guy in this situation: just hurt people. Let's not play the blame game and let's look at the peoples feelings involved and how we can avoid bad situations.

    So your guy friend ignored your texts I'm assuming? can you verify this or is it an assumption? if he ignored your texts he's a jerk and not really your friend. End your relationship. If you don't actually know that he ignored you talk to him about it.

    So because he didn't answer you your hurt and feel betrayed and unloved. Your also angry. So was your automatic though "if this guy won't talk to me this other guy who cares about me will I'll show him or I'll make him jealous by talking to this other guy'? That's understandable but not wise or mature of you. You probably should have sought comfort from a female friend or family member. Now if he was LITERALLY the ONLY person you could talk to than I that's something else. Though I doubt that there are so many ways to communicate with people nowadays. Either way you seeking comfort is not wrong, but you should have perceived that going to that guy would hurt your other male friend/lover. You did hurt him and he presumably got mad at you. He's completely justified in that, though if he did ignore you than he should have figured out that you would be hurt and maybe go see the other guy.

    Synopsis: First guy may be a jerk and hurt you. Probably should dump him/ end the relationship. if he doesn't take your feelings seriously.

    you are responsible for your own actions like everyone else and should not have went to the other guy. Though it is understandable it is still not right.

    Boy 2 sounds like a nice enough guy you should probably stick with him as long as you don't get him roped into any more drama.

    I've made some assumptions based on the info you provided. If they are wrong I didn't mean to offend and please point them out so I can change my advice

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    • Answerer
      9 months ago
      Ok so you have to change the way you pick guys because if you want loving relationships you aren't going to get it with these clowns. Boy one is emotionally immature and cavalier with your feelings. Boy 2 is playing the field and doesn't want commitment..

      There's no either or here. You don't need either. Find a good guy and start a relationship with him. Both of these guys will only use you
    • Question Asker
      9 months ago
      All of it was true, but there's something that I left out, guy 2 is a playboy, a notorious playboy. So I don't really feel like both are good. As for guy A, he probably distancing himself from me right now, seeing as he'll leave this country to study in Seattle in less than 3 weeks, and he doesn't do long distance relationship, or any kind of relationship. He's never been into a relationship before, he's never dated any girl before :O
  •  
    Anonymous User
    N/A  
    Anonymous User
    9 months ago
    I have two different opinions on this. I am not really sure if it is wrong for her to do so.

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    • Answerer
      9 months ago
      I think you should not waste your thoughts on the guy that is ignoring your texts
    • Question Asker
      9 months ago
      Yeah, I feel bad for the first guy, he's not bad, but it's just.. I want him to answer my texts, I need him because I want to solve some issues before he goes to the states. But he's not there. What are your opinions by the way? :)
  • latebloomer87
    -1  
    9 months ago
    Hmm you mean like, Kate Winslet and Leonardo Dicaprio? They should get married already. It would be like Titanic 2. Wait they've done revolutionary road...

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  • dreamtime
    6424  
    9 months ago
    Purely based on title; I'd feel like she's cheating on me emotionally.

    After your story, I'd have mixed feelings... On the one hand, I'd be happy she calmed down.. but on the other hand, I'd be rather annoyed because of the how.

    regarding your update; the 2nd guy if he insisted on talking to her or HER if she went to the 2nd guy straight away leaving the boyfriend to wonder if she has this nice backup just waiting for you to slip up... I'd make me feel uneasy because he's just waiting for his chance, just waiting for you to make a single mistake which is bound to happen as lets face it... we are all human.

    I quite dislike the way you phrased it...

    "love rival" ->Since when is it a contest between more then 2 ppl?
    "needs you badly and you failed to be with her" ->Can't be there every moment of the day, I mean... its fine searching for some emotional support but saying he failed you by being human and missing a single text or call.. what the hell

    Lastly... I'd be uncomfortable with the 3rd guy if I where dating you, I wouldn't be intimidated or feeling like he was superior.. I'd just be uncomfortable because he's just waiting and knowing that she treats him as a "backup" would just be the end of any relationship then and there.

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    • Answerer
      9 months ago
      Well I've got nothing more to say about this which'd help the situation... I've did my say and I've said what I wanted to say... its up to you to make a decision on what to do and that's about all there is to it..

      Just do it quick instaid of juggling both of them for a long period of time.
    • Question Asker
      9 months ago
      Yes, and with A it's like a hectic roller coaster. Really, he said to our mutual friends that he loves another girl, not me, and when I confront him about it, he said that he doesn't love that girl he's been talking about to his friend, he loves me. I ignores him when we're in front of other people but then he begs for my attention. He knows every single detail about me, that I never even tell him. And his possessive streak, I hate it so much, but I don't wanna be alone and dump A ._. Gosh..
    • Answerer
      9 months ago
      Oh if your not dating "A", that changes my entire theory and I appologise for jumping the gun.

      Either way, You could always dump both and date neither.
      A)Love isn't enough for a relationship, people say it is but it really isn't.
      B)You don't love him
    • Question Asker
      9 months ago
      You know the part when I said when I friend-zoned A back then on my previous comment? I'm not his girlfriend but he's mad at me, super angry and he ignores me, up until I said that I still love him, since then it's like he owns me. Owns, not loved. I'm sure about his loyalty, but I never sure about his 'she's mine, don't come near her' attitude. I hate it..
    • Answerer
      9 months ago
      I never said it was without risks or reason, I'm just saying that its not right and you know it isn't.

      I can't say stay with him or leave him as well its none of my business however the way your talking about him it sounds like you don't want to be in a relationship with "A" but because of feelings you are dating him.

      Doesn't sound like a healthy relationship to me, I don't think it'll last forever unless he changes and guys never change unless they want to themselves which is very unlikely.
    • Question Asker
      9 months ago
      Well, yeah, I guess I should. But then again, I'm afraid if I'm about to commit to A, would he stay loyal, sticks with me? Cares about me instead of being so over-possessive, and treating me like something he OWNS instead of someone he loves? I'm afraid he'd continue to do that :(
    • Answerer
      9 months ago
      A) boyfriend
      B) girlfriend
      C)Boy who loves girlfriend and who girlfriend goes to behind boyfriend isn't available.

      C should not be there and those are the 3 I was talking about.

      My point still stands, get rid of your backup and commit to one guy instaid of saying your commiting to "A" while having "B" on reserve just incase "A) doesn't work out(again).. sorry but relationships simply don't work that way, they are about commitment which you can't or won't do meaning should you even be in one?
    • Question Asker
      9 months ago
      Umm actually it was only between 2 people, A and B, well, A is the guy who ignores me, and I love him of course, and B, well.. He's.. Well, B. This happens over and over again. I 'friend-zoned' A once because A's never there for me, but B's there. And that time A has been super furious with me, he ignores my calls and texts. But then when I got back to A, he did that again, ignoring me when I need him. Feels like I chase him around.
    • Answerer
      9 months ago
      the reason for my last paragraph is simply, she didn't commit to me so why would I commit to her?
 

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