How much space can I give her?

If I were in your position probably I would kick her out. Well not unto the street but the thing is when women say for guys once a cheater always a cheater - same goes for women! Do yourself a favor find someone who deserves your love - it's really time for you to move on like Lesae said your in an emotional turmoil so I suggest forget her - forgive her possibly may never come because she hurt you but moving on is your definite option! Good luck!

Sorry to her that. Its time to put your feelings first and cut your losses. Its been a month since you asked the question. You are still in turmoil. I know it hurts but, she made her bed...You need to find happiness now and she isn't it. She put herself first before her vows and that is the worse thing a wife can do. Its a team effort. She chose to leave it. So, move on sweetie. You will forgive her but, its a neighbor..You have to see him. She has put you through enough.

Sir. Look deep down into your heart and think what you want to do - not someone else telling you what to do - it's your choice but what does your consciousness tell you? What do you feel? I mean I would really let her go and move on - find somebody else that's worth my time - not some grown up woman who needs space from what? Maybe you could sit down and have a heart to heart conversation - if that would help! But seriously I would let her go! Good luck!

She is going through the change. You have not done anything wrong. Give her space. Don't try so hard, maybe less communication is what she needs. That is a long time to be married and then one day, hey I want the neighbor, bye see ya. She has thought about this for awhile. Go out and have some fun with your kids. They need a sane parent right now. I don't know your wife, but she is being pretty selfish. Let's hope when she wakes up from her fantasy world that her family is still around.

Well sir I'm really sorry I have to say this about your wife but your wife is a bitch (excuse the language) I mean why would you do that? Why would you tell especially your husband I find my neighbor very sexy and I wanna do him? I mean if I'll ever tell my boyfriend, husband or whatever that I need space all I'm saying is I need some time to think our relationship through not go around doing it with every man that I find attractive.. I have a friend but more of a fatherly figure cause he's 49 and his wife left him because she wanted to experience the world and what is out there, they have 3 sons who are 25, 23 and 17 and they're all great boys and he's a great father but there were personal reasons why she left mainly cause of sexual reasons he wasn't impotent he just remembered something and it was bothering him and he didn't know what to do - he told her but they still got divorced but the thing is, don't you, when you get married and you take a vow to be with them - don't you say in sickness and in health you know they should make in personal and great affairs.. I think honestly you should move on.. he did and he's great he told me if you love someone you do what they want you to do meaning let them go.. I'm really sorry.. but I am real sorry again she is a bitch!

First of all, what the heck?? Asking for "space" when you're NOT married is one thing, but when you are married? Hmmm, last I heard, marriage meant effort, stick-to-it-ness, and perseverance! Not, "Honey, I'm not sure what I want these days...could I go 'find myself' while you wait for me?" And YOU are actually thinking about it??? Wow, though I'm reluctant to spend my time giving you advice (considering both your ages, I'd assume you'd both know better...but...) you gotta take a step back pal. If a friend of yours asked you what you thought if HIS wife suggested this to him, what would your gut really tell him??? I hope you'd suggest either counseling or count your loses and move on! That would be the dignified way to bow out of that relationship, wouldn't it? Please consider yourself a little more valuable my friend. Giving your wife permission to commit adultery does not say much at all about you! If you feel she is worth keeping, make some healthy efforts to treat her better, speak up about your feelings for her (when your marriage is on the line, is it really that hard?) and improve the existing relationship...and for goodness sake, have a backbone and tell you "sorry doll, if you think that little of me to actually consider this proposal, you are sadly mistaken, and evidently you don't deserve me!" Goodness man, be the stand up guy here, and either convince her BY YOUR ACTIONS, not only your words, that the relationship is worth giving more effort, or give her a little peck on the noggin and wish her well! No turning back after she's been with someone, daaaaaaah! Really, I'm pretty sure you are more valuable than that, even if you haven't shown it in years, maybe it's time you do, but maybe just not with her...do the right thing, try to improve your self worth and maybe you'll see why you shouldn't feel you actually have to ask strangers for their advise on this one.....Take Care of yourself, please! For your sake, and if not for yours, for the kids? (What would you tell your boys if they were in your shoes? What kind of role model would you be if they see this dysfunctional behavior?) Ewe! I pray you come out of this with respect and dignity.. Think about it!!

Well, reality is this - a relationship that has lasted for 27 years has a strong foundation. During the time you are together, you are naturally going to experience all kinds of different emotions and desires. I'm sure you've seen a sexy woman or two that you would have liked to entertain, and it's certain that your wife has had similar inclinations. That's not because you two are a bad pair or off-track; it's normal.

That she is telling you these things suggests to me that she does want to remain married. She is feeling restless, either because her sex life isn't where she wants it to be (and here I mean number of times and variety, not a critique or insult or you) or because of emotions relating to hitting the middle ages.

I think you guys should sit down and discuss sexual fantasies. See if there's a way that you can mold and redefine your approach that will help her feel fulfilled and desired.

Can you give us a little more info on what you've tried lately to stoke the emotional fires? Curious as to what's been going on.

Wow, I may be totally incapable of answering this question, but it sounds like she is having a mid-life crisis, and she is thinking of the way her life could have been. When you say that you don't always tell her she looks nice, is this because you forget or because you are not paying enough attention too her anymore. You are right in the fact that we can take advantage of the people we always depend on.

The point is that you two are married and "needing space" is different than "cheating." If I were you I would take a vacation or some vacation time and concentrate on your relationship with your wife, or maybe counseling. She feels neglected and that is why she is going to other men, looking for the affection and attention she no longer receives from you... try doing things for her and showing her that you love her as well as saying it too!

You can give her the "space" she needs, but that is not going to fix your marriage. She is turning 50 too, that may be a hard birthday to get through. She needs to know that you still love her, and that she was doing more than just raising your kids for you. You have some serious relationship re-building to do, fast and you can add more if you need anymore help.