I have a guy friend at my college (we met in class). We originally started hanging out to work on math together, but that turned into just "hanging out"; we rarely worked on anything pertaining to school. We were together pretty much everyday (we've gotten back into the same routine this semester, although we don't have any classes together). After exams, he called me to find out how I think I did. And on days where our class schedules conflicted (or when I was done and he wasn't), he'd always come find me and we'd talk for hours. He rescued me after school one day when my car broke down and when he drove me home, he kind of "lingered" in my kitchen.
I am sensing sexual tension between us. We constantly tease each other and he's been doing this little squinty thing with his eyes lately when I'm talking. We didn't keep in touch over christmas break, but he called me one day when he was on his way up to the school for something. Unfortunately, there was a bit of commotion with some other friends, so I never got the reason he called. The first of week of this semester, I didn't hear from him, which was odd. So I called and left him a silly message and he called me back in 20 minutes-from texas! I'm thinking he might be interested in me. Here's the problem. I'm married (i thought happily). I don't want to read too much into it and possibly lose a good friend. Any thoughts/reactions/reprimands?
Did you tell him you were married? The first thing I would say is that there. I know how it feels to be afraid of being upfront. I'm going through a problem too with a girl that's sending mixed signals. You just have to be firm with your message to him. Vocally and Physically, I don't know if he'll admit it but guys read too much into things as well.
Which is why I have such a problem reading the girl I like. That and she's from another country. Anyway, no one likes loosing a friend, especially one that you really connect with. Still I'd say it might be better to draw a line here and there, not a strict line but show your marriage comes first. If he does like you it's better to show him your priorities but keep being friendly. At least that's what I would want. If a girl thinks I'm interested and knows I'm not the one for her I would want to know so I can respect her boundaries. Thats why this girl I hang with is so confusing because she's giving mixed signals. LOL Maybe you can help me out next? If not that's cool I don't want you to feel like you owe me. I'm happy to lend out my opinion. Still I could use your help, you might know why she's acting the way she is. If your interested in helping Its labeled "Is she waiting for me to get closer" If not I understand and I just hope my advice shines some light on your question.
If you're a nice women, you can't blame him for being interested. At least he's managed to keep his emotions under control and not done anything stupid. As long as you make it very clear (in a nice way) that the relationship must remain friends-only, it should work out. Just be sure that your husband knows the full situation and is okay with it as well.
I kind of wish he would say something. I do have feelings for him. Is that really bad? My husband knows about him. I'm not sure he's totally thrilled that we're always together. He knows I couldn't live w/myself if I cheated. Should I stay away from him? - 7 months ago
Answerer
If you think you can control yourself, it might be okay. Make sure that you aren't leading on the guy in any way. You should tell him to move on and date people. - 7 months ago
He is interested but don't worry it's normal for you to have other thoughts. And there is no problem with you having a guy friend with you being "happily" married as long as he knows his boundaries which I assume he does. I say just continue being friends no more no less.
Thanks for the insight. I've never been good at reading men. It took me a long time to find my husband. He's really great...maybe too great. I definitely have feelings for this guy. Would you recommend I distance myself from him? - 7 months ago
Answerer
Your welcome any time. if you love your husband then definitely or its going to be too confusing for you. - 7 months ago
That's hard. See, I'm in college also and I liked this guy in my class but fortunately for me I'm not married. Lol.
I think you need to ask yourself if you really love your husband. What are the good and bad differences between them? If you are feeling something for someone else maybe in your heart you really like this other guy more but you don't want to admit it simply because you are married and your head is telling you "no stop" this is a huge decision that you alone have to decide on. But remember. People change and so do our minds and hearts. There's nothing wrong with liking someone else. It's not your fault you can't control it.
Do you feel more happy with this guy than you do around your husband? Is it his personality or his looks? Anything specific? You need to question yourself. You are the only one who has the true answer. Let your heart show you the way.
These are all good questions that I have been asking myself for a while. I think about this guy all the time. I do love my husband but I can't honestly say that I'm "in love" with him. He practically worships the ground I walk on, so this is really hard. - 7 months ago
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