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ForgottenGurl

Does a handicap get in the way of dating?

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ForgottenGurl (Age:18 to 24)     When: 6 months ago
Views: 224     Category: Relationships
I have a feeling I will stay single for a long time, now what I wanna know is, if you guys went to a club or a game or something and saw a girl and started talking to her but she told you she was deaf. How would you react?

I blame my deafness for why I'm single. Most guys won't give me the time of day because I'm deaf. But I guess I'm a little different. I grew up hearing so I talk and read lips. But still don't make it any better. Maybe it's my looks since looks matter first to you guys before the personality. Just like to know what you guys think.

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What Guys Said

x9354
1230  
x9354 (Age:25 to 29)      When: 6 months ago
It sounds like you may be hanging out at the wrong clubs or games. Looks definitely matter to guys, but don't forget that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and deafness is a small hurdle for someone who's really interested in you.
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Aedak
1704  
Aedak (Age:18 to 24)      When: 6 months ago
There are a lot of guys out there who could care less about those sort of things. Unfortunately, I'm not one of those people. I'll be honest, I would probably avoid someone who was deaf simply because I'm at a point in my life where I just couldn't handle that. For one, I don't understand sign language... and second, it just doesn't fit into my criteria for what I look for in women. It's nothing personal really, It would just be too much for me to handle.
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Question Asker Wow your kinda cold hearted. If a deaf girl doesn't fit in your criteria. But you meet one that you love. You will dump her just because she's deaf? I never understood signing either. I grew up with a deaf dad. And I talk but you gotta be open to new things. - 6 months ago
Answerer If you say so, I'm just being honest. And no I wouldn't dump someone, I would just avoid the relationship altogether from the beginning. It has nothing to do with being "cold hearted" or closed minded, I just know what I want and that's not it. - 6 months ago

That-Guy
2479  
That-Guy (Age:18 to 24)      When: 6 months ago
You said you only been deaf for 3 years. What senses have you developed since losing your hearing ability? What I'm asking is, usually when people lose a certain sense the other senses are enhanced. What's it like?
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Question Asker I can feel things better. IOm sitting somewhere and I can feel someone upstairs walking. I ask my hearing brother if he felt it he says " feel what"? My taste buds are a little better. Id say more senseative then before. I hope that answers ur questi - 6 months ago
Answerer That's exactly what I was asking. Pretty interesting. - 6 months ago

Superstrength79
2825  
Superstrength79 (Age:25 to 29)      When: 6 months ago
You may be giving yourself an obstacle of trying to find a guy at a club, most club-going guys aren't the most understanding or accepting people on the planet. Are there any groups in your area for people that are deaf? Maybe someone in the group would have a brother who already knows sign language they could introduce you to? It doesn't have to be a group like that either, there are some meet up sites out there as well, and like you said you have a myspace page. Are there any groups on there about sign language? An online dating service could be good too, since the beginning stages of those are through emails and comments.

This is one of the reasons I have always wanted to learn Sign Language. Just in case I meet that one lady who happens to be deaf.
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Question Asker Ok Umm you have an interesting point there. I get weird looks when I'm signing to my family in public. Must be different. Or or people just noseyin to watch. Who knows wish more people found it cool to know I'm an odd deaf tho. Thanks for giving your guy input - 6 months ago
 

What Girls Said

ditzytiggsie
771  
ditzytiggsie (Age:18 to 24)      When: 6 months ago
Oh honey. If someone is shallow enough to take issue with your disability and not get to know you for who you really are, then sod him.

I have my own kind of disability, all bet completely different to yours. I have severe mental illness that when at it's worse I am unable to look after myself at all and I normally get admitted to hospital.
Despite all this, it has made me so much stronger and has helped me realize the kind of guy I need for a relationship. Guys my age are so immature and don't look beyond the illness, they also find my personal strength quite intimidating. My current boyfriend is 22, and to be honest I love him so much (I've had a few boyfriends, but I've got to say this one's the special one so far! ). I need a man who's at least 4 years older, because I'm am now so much more mature for my age and find older men just work for me.

So. My advice is. Give things time, you will find someone special. Perhaps join in activities with people with similar disabilities, not necessarily loss of hearing. If someone doesn't want to be with you because of your handicap, screw them, you're better off with out them if they treated you that way, and it obviously isn't meant to be.
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Trouble85
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Trouble85 (Age:18 to 24)      When: 6 months ago
If I were a guy, I would find that to be very interesting. Again that is just my personality. A very curious one = )

It might help to accentuate everything else about you that you like. Mini make overs always work for me - new outfit. Different hair style. A little sparkle eyeshadow for some reason always helps me. If a guy is going to give up on you right away after finding out that you are deaf. Then it's not worth getting upset. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure it would be something very difficult to deal with for both people involved. Give it time. There are guys out there willing to look past that. Good luck!
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Question Asker Thanks, I would think people would want to find out about it. Its a different veiw on life and the world. I didn't think being deaf for a short time of 3 years going on 4 would be that bad. I grew up talking so that's what I do. I like your opion - 6 months ago

youmakemeblush
61  
youmakemeblush (Age:18 to 24)      When: 6 months ago
It depends on the quality of guy that you are hoping to attract. I agree with the other poster about finding love within the deaf community, but I think that your dating troubles stem beyond your handicap. When I looked at your profile you also have a toddler, a baby, which immediately lowers your stock value.

- handicap
- young single mother

Not many men are ready for that much responsibility, especially when it is going to be a challenge communicating with you.
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Question Asker What I'm not getting is, I won't even get looked at or any one wanting to talk to me. They're not gonna know from looking at me or saying hi to me. That's why I'm a single mother and stuff. All they know about me is I am deaf and that right there turns them away - 6 months ago
Answerer Since you go to clubs, after you tell them you are deaf keep the connection going by asking them to dance. After dancing you should usher him to get a drink with you and with conversation show him that being deaf isn't holding communication back. - 6 months ago

Lesae
5340  
Lesae (Age:36 to 45)      When: 6 months ago
You know, you are beautiful on the inside and out sweety. If a guy is so shallow, to not talk to you because of hearing loss? That tells you his character. Have you tried meeting other hearing impaired guys? You will meet Mr. Wonderful and it will not matter if you are deaf or anything.
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Question Asker Thanks , I hope so 2. I just feel weird because I have only been deaf 3 years and other deaf guys personality don't mix, I find myself more hearing then deaf because I talk. Most deaf don't. Is that so wrong to keep up my voice? - 6 months ago
Answerer Well that will be something you both would have to work on together. You will find someone. I promise. - 6 months ago
 
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Does it ever annoy you that you're single?
random-ren asked 11 days ago

Yes, most of the time! I really wish I had a boyfriend/girlfriend!

A little, because I feel left out.

Not really...

Nope! I have too much fun being single!

What's there to be annoyed about?

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Evilbegining (Age:18 to 24)

What pickup lines do you use to start a conversation with someone you are attracted to?
Hi, I'm Dan how are you doing today?

How do they typically respond?
Generally she tells me how she is doing. From there I start normal conversations. Pick up lines generally speaking are stupid and fail a good amount of the time, being yourself and being confident and comfortable are far more important.

Do I have the right approach?