Anonymous User

If your significant other cannot have children, will you leave?

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Anonymous User (Age:25 to 29)     When: 4 months ago
Category: Relationships

If you love your significant other very much and think you make a great couple BUT she/he cannot have children.

You want to have children of your own blood. No adoption option.

What would you do? Would you stay for the sake of love or leave to be able to have children with another person?


Update: This is a hypothetical question. You have to assume that 1. You really love your partner 2. You really want to have children of your own blood.

Which one would you choose?    4 months ago

3000 characters left  Anonymous
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I would rather stay with my love.

I want to be a mother/father badly, so sadly I'm going to leave.

See results.

Answers

    From Guys  
21
From Girls  
10
 

Best Answer

kady4e
6740  
4 months ago
In a situation like this is more difficult if the woman is the infertile one.
if the man can't have children, the woman can always go for a sperm donor and still have children that may look a bit like her partner and still have her own blood.
but if the woman can't conceive there's no other way than adoption or having a children in another woman and keep the child with him... but that is more difficult than adoption, I think, unless she agrees to do that on the first place and get paid pretty much to do that... and if she changes her mind... she will win the child in court anyway :S

But, if I love him, I wouldn't care if he can or not.

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  • Answerer
    4 months ago
    thanks for BA :D

What Guys Said

  •  
    Anonymous User
    N/A  
    Anonymous User
    4 months ago
    I want to have kids of my own to carry on my legacy. I would not want to be with a woman that can't have my children. Date her and have sex, sure. Marry, no. Marriage to me is about settling down with someone you want to have kids with. If she can't have kids, then there is no reason to be married to her.

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  • shyguy89
    4844  
    4 months ago
    as a man I would be crushed cause my girl is tough and I am sorta and I want those traits you know cause growing up I was a pushover and she wasn't. and I refuse to hunt for those traits and pretend to make love or just inpregnant her and have her give me her baby that me and her made for me and another girl I don't even think that would fly around my girl. and I sure she would not want another male to inpregnant her and dare call him or her my child I think even if I loved them to death there will be a time when shyt will hit the fan and I would hate for it to ruin that childs life child birth should be natural I think to souls coming as one to give life to another and the love is there before birth I feel. and a child that's not your spiritually is always gonna feel cold towards you.but it just my opinion XD

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  • madhatters4
    8175  
    4 months ago
    I want to have children but I also know that true love is probably the hardest thing to find and wouldn't trade it for anything in the world. I'd stay with a girl even if she couldn't have children. I have nieces and nephews anyway

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  • shumailkazimi
    6529  
    4 months ago
    surrogate mother

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  • Shyscot
    -1  
    4 months ago
    Don't know what to say. I'd definitely stay with my love. We can always adopt etc.

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  • Littletad
    37000  
    4 months ago
    There are many options, but I see no reason to leave a girl over this.

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  • Yellowsmurf
    3364  
    4 months ago
    I'd either not have children at all or adopt if she wanted to. Finding a woman I truly love who loves me back just as much is much more important to me than having children. Hypothetical or not, my answer would be the same.

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    • 4 months ago
      I completely agree with you
  • kairon156
    9152  
    4 months ago
    I don't think I can answer the hypothetical because I don't want chilrdren. so if I had a Girlfriend who couldn't have children would be a bones.

    so I would chose to stay with her.

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  • jmr2191
    4342  
    4 months ago
    I would think that we would still be able to adopt. Last I checked, her plumbing doesn't need to be functional to do that. We'd get to be together and still have a child (or two). So what if there not our flesh and blood- that's not the definition of 'family.'

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  • Janson
    8290  
    4 months ago
    That assumption of me is wrong though. I don't care THAT much for the children to be of my own blood. Adoption is also a perfectly good option

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  • sovetskii13
    21456  
    4 months ago
    I am more into finding and keeping love than having kids. Yes, I do want my own kids, but love is just more important to me.

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  • Brando
    -1  
    4 months ago
    Nope, just means we wouldn't have to pay for BC or condoms anymore :D

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  • EngineeringStudent
    12770  
    4 months ago
    I couldn't see myself leaving over something like this. There are other options that could make it work.

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  •  
    Anonymous User
    N/A  
    Anonymous User
    4 months ago
    I would not get serious with a woman that can't have kids.

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    • 4 months ago
      It's not in mine and I'm with someone for 11 years and could never imagine leaving over it. But if its a big part of your life then it's a big part of your life. If you don't mind me asking are you in a relationship?
    • Answerer
      4 months ago
      It's not everything, but it's a huge part of life.
    • 4 months ago
      Yeah I can understand what you mean. If having children is the be all and end all for you then that's just the way you are.
    • Answerer
      4 months ago
      It would always be a big problem at the back of my head. Other problem happening in the relationship would just start to pile up on the list and eventually we'd probably split up.
    • 4 months ago
      What if you're already serious and then she finds out or something happens like an ectopic pregnancy and leaves her infertile
  •  
    Anonymous User
    N/A  
    Anonymous User
    4 months ago
    I wouldn't leave a girlfriend just because she can't have kids, but I would not consider her serious for the future. I wouldn't marry a woman that could not have kids.

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    • 4 months ago
      What if you're already married and then she finds out or something happens like an ectopic pregnancy and leaves her infertile
  •  
    Anonymous User
    N/A  
    Anonymous User
    4 months ago
    I think you could stay with your partner, and use a surrogate. I don't see why this has to be a stay/leave situation.

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  • Toban_Frost
    24035  
    4 months ago
    Well, if it's something concrete like her uterus is destroyed, or I'm completely sterile, then I would prefer to adopt, or something. I don't see why the love should end just because we can't have kids. It's hard enough to find someone to spend your life with, without having to pile stuff like that on top of things. Besides, it's not as if my family name won't live on. I come from an absolutely massive family. So yeah, I'd stay.

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  • palek
    34071  
    4 months ago
    No. But I would insist that we TRY HARDER!

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  •  
    Anonymous User
    N/A  
    Anonymous User
    4 months ago
    I'd find another woman, as current one couldn't fulfill what I need. She needs to find someone that is fine with adopting and I need to find a woman that is capable of getting pregnant. No offense, but she's just not right for me, no more than I'm right for her. Staying in a relationship like that would lead to resentment.

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  •  
    Anonymous User
    N/A  
    Anonymous User
    4 months ago
    Children aren't a big deal to me, as there's a lot of risks and costs involved for men to get married and have kids. If she was willing to have a committed long-term relationship without marriage and no kids, I'd be okay. I'd just agree not to have kids and spend time volunteering around children or spend time with kids in my extended family if I really loved her that much.

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  • Aercz
    76292  
    4 months ago
    I would rather stay with A. All my life, I didn't have a single interest in having children.

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    • Question Asker
      4 months ago
      It would definitely hurt, but from what I've seen...people just don't care. They are selfish and run after what pleases them even if that means hurting a person that you love.
    • Answerer
      4 months ago
      I would still choose A.
      She's still a human being and wants to be appreciated for who she is.
      What if we're the couple, and I left you because you can't bear children?
      That would hurt a lot, wouldn't it? To the point that committing suicide is an option.
    • Question Asker
      4 months ago
      What if you wanted to have children and had to choose between staying with the love of your life and having children?
 

What Girls Said

  • RebelOfNowhere
    2343  
    4 months ago
    I don't see the point in having children...so my answer should be obvious d: I'd rather make a beautiful bond with one person. I don't need a child to make me happy ahah

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  • RedSmartie
    12272  
    4 months ago
    What do children mean if I can't be with the person I love? I'd at least try for invitro first. Or I'd sleep with someone else but raise the child with my husband.

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  • emilyemilyy
    -1  
    4 months ago
    idk why adoption wouldn't be an option in this case. I'd stay and adopt. easy.

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  • Prettygurl12
    17817  
    4 months ago
    I'm not so thrilled with the whole having kids idea so if it turned out he physically was unable to reproduce I'd be beyond thrilled. So of course I would stay with him.

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  •  
    Anonymous User
    N/A  
    Anonymous User
    4 months ago
    i think real love is hard to find and I wouldn`t leave a guy because of this
    why is adoption no option? how about a sperm donor?

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  • kdizzleforizzle91
    16688  
    4 months ago
    I'm on the fence about having my own kids. If I could at least have a couple nieces/nephews, I think I'd be happy. If I found the right man for me, I'd stay with him. If we both really wanted kids, we could get a sperm donor... or just buy a cat.

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  • tweetumzz
    -1  
    4 months ago
    it depends on the reason why he can't have children if it's due to medical condition I will stay, if not I will leave..

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  • cazza3
    8889  
    4 months ago
    I may be a bit biased as I am not too bothered about having children but I could not leave my partner. Its not like its a decision they made or anything they have control over. Imagine finding out you can't have kids, even as someone who doesn't plan on having any I can only imagine that pain, and then being told by the person you need most in the world at that time "sorry but I'm leaving cause you can't have children". What happened to loyalty, love and support. If my fiance found out he couldn't have kids I know that he would feel some strange sense of inadequacy and I couldn't fathom leaving because I love him. I decided a long time ago that he was the one I wanted to spend my life with and if we couldn't have kids then we'll travel the world together.

    I can understand people really wanting kids of their own but I would have to question what type of parent they would be if they leave someone they are suppose to love simply because they cannot get what they want. That is the problem with a lot of relationships now and why they are breaking down. People want and expect to get everything and have some stupid sense of entitlement but then when things don't go their way they have no idea how to handle it, they throw a tantrum and decide I'm outta here. I would also wonder what the reaction would be if you told them I have a terminal illness.

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  • emzy-89
    13268  
    4 months ago
    I'd stay. I can't have children of my own and I've come to terms with that and know that there is more than one way to have children eg adoption. I'd like to think that it I was in a loving relationship that the guy would stay.

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    • Answerer
      4 months ago
      no
    • 4 months ago
      Endometriosis?
    • Answerer
      4 months ago
      Of course I'd be upset, but I wouldn't want to be with someone who would do that so I'd rather tehey leave than stay around pretending to be OK with it.
    • Question Asker
      4 months ago
      What if a guy left because you cannot have children? How would you feel?
  • Betwyn
    14819  
    4 months ago
    I would be the happiest girl in the world!

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    • Answerer
      4 months ago
      Cause I never want children.. if my partners are unable, never have to worry about an accident
    • 4 months ago
      ?! How come?
 
   
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