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Complains I don't kiss him enough? Thinks I should initiate more!
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Anonymous User (Age:18 to 24)     When: 4 months ago
Category: Relationships

I just started dating this guy... it has been a few weeks. He just got upset with me saying that I never just came up to him and kissed him. It's not like we've been together that long and I'm definitely shy! I've tried kissing him randomly, but now it just seems like I'm doing it because he told me to... ah what do I do?
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Anonymous User
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Anonymous User
4 months ago
Well, I don't know what to tell you. Does he know how shy you are? If not, maybe you should explain it all to him. Tell him that you do [like / love] him but you're still new to this relationship, and you're still shy. You're trying, but it's just not that easy or natural to you, yet. I think this is something you should talk over with him, and try to make clear. What do you think?

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  • Question Asker
    3 months ago
    Fingers crossed! Alright, write me back and I won't open it until something happens :) Thanks!
  • Answerer
    3 months ago
    Here's hoping. I'm curious as to how this will turn out.
  • Question Asker
    3 months ago
    Definitely! Maybe that'll help me to come back to this.
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  • Answerer
    3 months ago
    So in the meantime, would you say this was the best answer, here?
  • Question Asker
    3 months ago
    Yeah, I hope I remember to come on here!
  • Answerer
    4 months ago
    Let me know how it turns out.
  • Question Asker
    4 months ago
    huh. alright... well I'm nervous. I'm not elated though with how things are and I want to be. I really like him. I'm going to think a bit more and then probably decide. Suggesting a break is probably best. Poor guy :/ He's so nice.
  • Answerer
    4 months ago
    Nope. Not all of them. I did a poll a while back. The odds are in your favour, it would seem.
  • Question Asker
    4 months ago
    Ah, you mean, maybe see if he's really grown up/changed? I feel like... if we maintain a friendship and we want to make out we might as well be together... which is why I don't want to break up. Maybe a break is what it takes to improve things though. Not all breaks are bad, right?
  • Answerer
    4 months ago
    you could go out, and you could talk, but just be mindful of how he's acting.
  • Question Asker
    4 months ago
    All very good point. So if he contacts me in a couple months and tries to ask me out again, should I go for it? People change... and grow... lol. Clearly I'm not liking this whole breakup idea just yet.
  • Answerer
    4 months ago
    I generally recommend keeping busy, like burying yourself in school, work, hobbies, friends and family. It's good to keep supportive friends around in case you have a sad moment. But yeah, keeping busy is usually a good idea. As is keeping minimal contact with your ex, because the more your ex is around, the harder it is to move on. He might even try to contact you after the breakup, so prepare for that. Finally, I recommend you remember that you should not let relationships status define you.
  • Question Asker
    4 months ago
    Oh so it's more him and not me? :/ and there's nothing I can do? That's hard. I know he's a good guy and we share so much in common, but talking is so hard and it shouldn't be. How would I move on from someone so great?
  • Answerer
    4 months ago
    I don't see this getting better right now, that's why I suggest time apart. I think you should split, and be friends. Maybe you can salvage things, but I don't see him changing, the way things are now. What makes me say so? Experience. First and second hand.
  • Question Asker
    4 months ago
    Hm. Maybe. What makes you think so? Anything I can do to make things better? I feel like we have all the same values... and yet... we have so little to talk about. It's odd. He doesn't seem to ask that many questions, but I'm always asking :/
  • Answerer
    4 months ago
    Maybe. It's possible. I don't know. I just don't think that you're good for each other right now.
  • Question Asker
    4 months ago
    I wonder if he'll go for that. Maybe my love will re-grow?
  • Answerer
    4 months ago
    Yeah, then maybe you should just be friends.
  • Question Asker
    4 months ago
    I so like him as a person though... it's just really hard. I don't know what to do. I don't want to lose him, but I'm also not 100% elated in the relationship anymore :/. I feel like things have faded a bit maybe? He's so nice to me though!
  • Answerer
    4 months ago
    Sounds like you should reconsider things, then. Maybe even consider breaking it off as a couple.
  • Question Asker
    4 months ago
    Hm. I'm unsure about all of this. He seems to have... absolutes. Like if I don't like the way things are I can just leave. It's so off and on though. I can't tell. I'm starting to feel like he's not a person I could marry, but someone I'd really like to date... or have as a friend :/ AH
  • Answerer
    4 months ago
    Alright, well anyway, keep an eye out.
  • Question Asker
    4 months ago
    hmmm I don't know so far not really. once he hinted that we could be one of those couples who hides away from their friends, but I kind of said no to that lol
  • Answerer
    4 months ago
    I don't mean controlling or dominant in the beadroom. I mean doesn't want you talking to a specific half of the population, or tries to control who your friends are, or tells you what to do when do do it.
  • Question Asker
    4 months ago
    It's funny because that's exactly what people have warned me about him. He's SUPER controlling in the bedroom. Doesn't believe in sex boyfriend marriage, but everything else yes. He likes to be super dominant. I'm not used to someone so... intense. He's really big on compromise... and one time he said that since I don't cook I should at least put the dishes in the dish washer or wash them.
  • Answerer
    4 months ago
    Sometimes you need to do it. In fact, quite often if a guy gets too attached, so soon, he could turn out to be an absolute nightmare later. (girls, too, actually) He could become jealous, controlling, abusive. Who knows. It's important to shut this down, right in the beginning.
  • Question Asker
    4 months ago
    he's just so nice... I don't know how to tell him that it's like... too much too soon!
  • Answerer
    4 months ago
    wow.
  • Question Asker
    4 months ago
    hahaha oh geez. alright. yeah, you're probably right. he bought me jewelery the 2nd week we were dating!
  • Answerer
    4 months ago
    Maybe you should discuss this with him. It already seemed like he was unsympathetic to your shyness, when you explained it to him the first time. Maybe you should find the time to sit him down, and explain all this other stuff to him as well. If you really need to grab his attention, I suggest hitting him with four all powerfully frightening words that give prophecy to doom. "We need to talk..."
  • Question Asker
    4 months ago
    I think it's WAY too fast and way too soon. Kind of freaked me out to be honest. I like him though... so I don't know what to do. Seems odd to think that so soon.
  • Answerer
    4 months ago
    Hmm. How do you feel about that? About how he planned so far ahead already?
  • Question Asker
    4 months ago
    yeah! I did. I just move REALLY slow. the 4th week we were dating he was like well this is what the rest of our lives will look like, so if you like it you should stay.
  • Answerer
    4 months ago
    And you explained that, right?
  • Question Asker
    4 months ago
    Lol well I did and then he asked why I'm so shy around him. We haven't been together that long! sheesh. he practically treats me like I am already his wife

What Guys Said
  • jasonwason1989
    278  
    jasonwason1989
    4 months ago
    yea, you should explain your shyness. relationships are successful if there is communication between the two. otherwise, the other person has no idea. its not like he is psychic and will automatically figure it out. anyway, just tell him this and just keep kissing him too! even though it might be a little fake. compromises are also another big thing in building a relationship. so do it if you really want a long relationship with this guy. if not, then just don't do anything that you don't like. he will understand if her really wants you and he will compromise. good luck
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    • Answerer
      4 months ago
      haha aight good luck!
    • Question Asker
      4 months ago
      haha alright, I'll try again.
    • joeteen
      4 months ago
      Ok forget that last comment,I got what yu were trying to say jason,you were saying if she just don't like to kiss then he should understand that and deal with it,got ya
    Show Older Comments
    • joeteen
      4 months ago
      If not,then she doesn't wanna a long relationship with him and he'll understand that she's not attracted to him or like/love him as much as he do to her so he'll just leave her not compromise.
  • 6Paul11
    8390  
    6Paul11
    4 months ago
    He told you straight up to be more affectionate so do just that. Make it natural and a part of the routine. Don't just lean over and give him a smooch at some weird time. Just fit it in when it is appropriate.

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