needingsincereanswer

What should I do with my relationship?
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needingsincereanswer (Age:30 to 35)     When: 4 months ago
Category: Relationships

Ok basically I have a question regarding relationships. I was dating a girl and the romance was whirlwind, we dated for 12 months and got engaged.

I met her and she was so special to me, it was like we both invested completely and things were really sincere on both sides. We spent as much time as possible together and when she returned home to her country, we made huge efforts to stay in contact/visiting while planning our future together without any ambiguity that we were both in love and we were going to be together. I sacrificed so much and so did she in terms of time and having no social life as we felt being in contact and available was important. Anyway long story short we got engaged after a year and had all plans ready for her to move back to UK. she's an attractive girl and of course there's always the mandatory douche bag ex boyfriend who she was still on good terms with because she's an adult. I was OK with that but obviously not ecstatic, come on. I noticed a couple of randoms commented and wrote slightly flirty messages on her fb and this seeded my mind that something was wrong but all of her actions were really sincere and she was planning her the wedding with great dedication and excitement. Obviously as I am a sincere and faithful guy I thought that I am just benig a jealous twerp and lambasted myself for doubting her.

Anyway we were celebrating Christmas together and I bought her a new iphone and while I was setting it up for her, I had a quick snoop of her fb, lets not get in to the privacy issues as this was an act that I did on a jealous whim. Anyway in previous 2 weeks she had sent nude pictures to another guy, one who was commenting on her pics in fb and another she said ''she was committed but willing to play'' or someting like that. So anyway I called off the wedding. she's been like a saint since but as time has passed she has said I violated her privacy and destroyed her dream wedding! Anyway I want some GENUINE opinions on this and what I should do. I really could use some help as a part of me says I should finish this as its ruined and I could never trust her again or this may turn me into a distrustful twit. I love her and this is the only woman I ever loved in my life so maybe that's why I resist ending this, is this something people would forgive or only a loser with no self respect, I am just confused.

This whole episode has crushed my heart(vomit inducing I know)
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Best Answer
moonglow
358  
moonglow
4 months ago
Even if she made a mistake and is willing to change, you need time to be able to trust each other completely again. I do not agree with her being mad at you for violating her privacy because what she did was much worse. Sometimes women do these things for stupid reasons (sometimes even insecurity) and then they realize their mistakes and learn from them. I think time is key in this situation, and also patience. I think if you love her so much and she loves you just as much you can get past this, but it will be very hard. If you realize you still can't trust her, don't stay with her just because you love her because you'll be unhappy in the relationship and will only be hurting yourself. Good luck. I wish you the best.

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What Girls Said
  • charliebess
    44  
    charliebess
    4 months ago
    If you had been in the relationship for more than a year then I would say give her a second chance but given that it has only been a year I would say don't just give up on her but giver her some time to get it out of her system (the I think I'm a "bad girl" syndrome) and then try it again after a little while

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  • Codry
    386  
    Codry
    4 months ago
    It "sounds" like a classic case of" things that are too good to be true". Just let her "play"with her nude pictures... I say it's OK to put naked pictures as long they are artistic but not p*rnographic ... I say it's OK to "play" as long as you're not committed...FaceBook is been known to "kill" good relationships...Go with your gut not your mind when in love...so if your gut tells you you should give her another chance do it. Postpone the wedding till things get clear(needs, wants, expectations, ideals and eventually repercussions of bad behavior) between you two.

    Be positive! Good Luck!

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  • ZenQueen
    30973  
    ZenQueen
    4 months ago
    I think you need time apart and time to think on your own.

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