I have been seeing a guy for 4 months - we live 1. 5 hrs apart and his wife had left him 4 months previously. We have seen each other every weekend. Every few weeks he will stop answering my calls or texts for a couple days and when I ask why he just says he is busy or he needs space and then he will call wanting to see me a few days later. His mom is living with him, he has started an apprenticeship class, got a job promotion with added responsibility, and is trying to purchase and remodel his childhood home. Since I have known him his whole life has been is chaos. We always have a great time together and his mom and friends really like me. I know he has some serious commitment issues cause he told me the first year he was married he freaked and had to go to marriage counseling. I told him last wk that I didn't think we could hang out anymore and he called and told me that he really liked me and wanted us to date and that he needed to do better and that he knew his marriage was over but he was having a hard time dealing with the emotions cause they are trying to remain friends. He called me the next day and told me he would call me on Friday. I never heard from him and when I called and left a couple messages I got no response. I called the next day and left several messages with no responses. I told him if he didn't wanna talk to just text me and let me know he was ok. Still nothing. I blew my top and drove to his home and his mom's boyfriend told me he was in SC and I knew it was a lie. I called and told him I was not leaving until he told me what was going on. That finally got him to return home and he told me he just wanted the weekend to himself and that we needed a break. That he had so much going on and that he didn't have a clue what he wanted and for me to just give him some space. That he liked me and wanted to date me but he just kept on saying he needed me to give him some space. The last thing he told me was to please give him some space but he wanted me to know that he was not going to do away with my phone number. I know he cares about me and we are really good together but I am afraid I went too far by driving all that way and pushing him. Is he really asking for just a break and space or is he just trying to not hurt my feelings but really want it to be over? For clarification he is a long term type guy and doesn't go out to clubs or serial date. Dated one girl 7 years and was with his wife 10 years and he is only 35 years old. Any advice would be great!
Update: He went 8 days and then answered the phone and he told me he just needed to clear his head and get some things done. We have been talking or texting ever since. We saw each other on Sunday and I ended up spending the night. Things looking up!
9 months ago
He is either seeing someone else or he doesn't want a relationship with you. Just leave him alone and see what happens. He might feel smothered. He sounds like the type of guy who can't tell a girl that he wants something else. I would move on. He did not have enough time between his ex wife and you. 4 months is not enough time to go into another serious relationship.
(Age:36 to 45)
When: 9 months ago
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