What to do??

I disagree with the other two men here. You didn't make the situation "worse" by going through his phone, he already did that the minute he flirted with his ex. In fact, what business does he have to flirt with an ex? If it was a friendly update, then there was nothing to be worried about. My ex used to always go through my phone, not to snoop but because she didn't have one at the time. So I'm guessing you were using it and accidentally found out he was keeping tabs with an ex. Don't let someone condemn you for something you probably had little control over.

But regardless of "pointing fingers", this doesn't change the fact that he is in fact conversing with an ex behind your back. While he simply said he was merely "talking", it's clear there something further. The main reason many guys keep in touch with their ex's is for easier relations. It becomes more cruel and craftier when he is dating someone else and it's quite clear he didn't want you to know the full extent of his conversations with them. I think it's time you confront him on the situation. Let's see what excuse he has. It's possible he really was just "friendly flirting" with his ex, but what are the chances of that?

First off, going behind someone's back and looking through their phone is a serious breach of trust... it isn't something you can really unintentionally do, however justified or accidental you may feel it to be.

You already don't trust your boyfriend over the communication he has with his ex and not being privy to the conversations he's having with her means that a lot of things can be taken out of context, blown out of proportion or seen in an incorrect light.

Or, you could have found definitive proof that he isn't trustworthy.

Either way, it sounds like a bad situation has now become even worse... if he doesn't know that you went through his phone and you're upset when you see him, he doesn't understand why and it will frustrate him. Add in a healthy bit of guilt and anger on your side of things, and this is just bad news.

Unfortunately, unless dealt with, this situation will likely continue to escalate and possibly cause irrevokable damage between the two of you (if it hasn't been done already). You can't unsee what you have seen, and he may never trust you again if he realizes what happened.

It may be possible to work through this if the two of you are willing... but I wouldn't hold your breath. Few couples are able to sustain this sort of damage and come through unscathed. Just be honest with yourself, and with him... that's what healthy relationships are made of.

im friends with a lot of my ex's. they flirt wit me from time to time. jus like I kno my girls guy friends flirt wit her. still no reason to get upset. friends flirt with each other all the time but its nothing serious because they friends and jokin round. now wen you went snoopin in his phone you read a msg tht said I wanna do you right now.. now THT is a reason to get up set.

if he's frliting with his ex it doesn't nessesarily mean he still has feelings for her, but you need to talk to him ask him if he still has feelings for her and if he can't give you a straight forward answer then I think you should end it, but that's my opinion. just asking is the key :)

Ask him straight out serious do you still have feeliongs for your ex GF? if he says no then say I need to know the truth...

sorry but I don't give a damn what anybody else says ... its your man and you have the right to look through his phone... he shouldn't have anything to hide in the first place! but if he's flirting with his ex ... its obvious there's still some kind of attraction between them, so there is really no telling if he's still messing around with her. 9 x's out of 10, chances are he is... srry.

people are blaming you for looking, but unless you are generally a nosey person you looked because you thought you had a reason right? f that don't look for something you don't wanna find, if you never looked you wouldn't have proof. I'm telling you trust your intuition. you said you WANT TO believe him, you didn't say that you did. honestly trust your gut because you know your man better than anyone else, if something might be going on confront his ass. he had no business flirting with his ex anyway I would let him know. don't lie about going through his stuff though, if you did it you gotta own up to it

For one thing...don't look for anything you don't want to find out. Two...if you are feeling this bad, certainly you are hurt. Tell him what you feel about him and other girls. If you get a bad reaction, then maybe he's not right for you. If he responds with concern for your feelings, then you did the right thing and it'll ease your heart. How long have you been going out?