When it comes to romance, dating, and relationships, pretty much generally, almost all the time the guy is the one who takes the initiative, pursues the girl, makes the first move, asks her out, etc. All the girl has to do is either accept or reject the guy's invitation for the date. All the girl has to do is just approve of the relationship or sex, if she is interested. Overall, the girl usually always has the final response, she just has to accept or reject the guy, that's all. Anyway, I found out these reasons why it is usually expected for the guy to take the initiative. "Men can father an infinite amount of children. Women, in an evolutionary context, only get a few shots to reproduce. So men needn't be choosy. But a woman, evolutionarily speaking, has to use her reproductive opportunities very wisely. She has to be choosy, and she better not "mate" with a guy who won't be there for their offspring, or her chance to pass on her genes could be lost. So, evolution has produced women who are very very patient. Who wait for the right guy, and who make him prove his interest by doing all the work of courtship while she sits back and judges him."
"It's how we have evolved. It's part of our biology. Men have during his lifetime the capacity to procreate a million times. Our sperm indicates to spread and procreate. That is why we are the hunters. Women in the other hand, has a very finite number of eggs that she makes during her whole life, and while a man can impregnate a woman and disappear, the woman cannot. She has a huge vested interest in not only the quality of the seed the may be getting, but the quality of the man that gave her that seed.
What all this means is that a woman is not interested in having sex, she is interested in having sex with the better man, with the better genes. So women are programmed to veto, to be selective. While men are programmed spread his seed, and since he is going to be vetoed, he is programed to pursue and continue to pursue. This also explains why women are not very good at handling rejection, while men , the ones that are successful are good at handling rejection.
So as a man, if you want things to happen, you have to take control and make them happen. Now because men and women, even though are hard wired no different than a primitive man, the needs to survive have changed. We no longer have to hunt, we go out and make a living, pursue sports, surround ourselves with the things that say you are a better provider, a more suitable animal. And while men pursue, women try to attract males. That is why they sell Victoria's Secret and all that sexy stuff, yet the same does not exist for men."
Update: Are these good reasons? Is that why it has traditionally always been up to the man to take the initiative when it comes to dating and relationships, sex?
9 months ago
Update: Are these good valid points?
9 months ago
Update: Also here is what my guy friend said: Our Culture and Society has made that the status quo, and why would women risk rejection when they can just let all the guys come to them? They can get away with doing nothing, so of course they are going to get away.
9 months ago
Update: In a way, I don't blame women for wanting the man to take the initiative, because it's better to be the one doing the rejecting than to be the one receiving it. If it was the opposite, other way around, women asking me out, us men would want it that way.
9 months ago
Update: my bad, I mean women asking men out. Like let's say at the beginning of time, and it was the other way around, it was traditional for the woman to ask the man out, take the initiative. If it had always been that way, would us men want it to be changed?
9 months ago
Update: that is how it is every aspect of live, what would you rather do? be rejected? or do the rejecting? I guess that is why most women will not ask a man out.
9 months ago
Update: Am I going to get any more responses?
9 months ago
Update: Well?...
9 months ago
Update: Why haven't I gotten more responses?
9 months ago
Update: are women ever going to become date initiators?
8 months ago
Update: How come this question is not getting a lot of views and answers?
7 months ago
The man's role has been set like this because of a few reasons; religion, tradition and innate thinking. Nowadays I see that things are changing a bit. I don't agree with making the man do all the pursuing and work in a relationship. I see it more on equal terms. Men groom themselves as well to attract a mate. Women are working more and moving up the ranks to equal a man. But yes, traditionally speaking what you said had a lot of validity to it.
You said that nowadays things are changing, how? are more women pursuing men and taking the initiative, approach them and asking them out? - 9 months ago
Answerer
Yes I have approached men and made the first move. I find that women are becoming more of equals. Have I asked a guy out? Yes a few times. - 9 months ago
Question Asker
Well that's good and nice to hear, because us guys get tired of being rejected too, we can be shy and not be very outgoing. - 9 months ago
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