I dated a girl about a year ago, but we ended up breaking up when we both moved away to separate colleges (neither of us thought a long distance relationship would be fair). She has since moved back as did I, but she is dating someone else now. She's told me that she isn't happy and is constantly telling me about their problems and arguments and tells me she doesn't think they will work out. I still have feeling for her now and she almost kissed me a couple of days ago. I know eventually we will probably end up getting back together again, but I don't know if I should really be getting involved with her now, or if I should wait until she officially breaks up with him.
I know what the technically "right" thing to do is, but what's the point in waiting if she's not happy with him anyways? Is there really anything wrong with encouraging her to move on to someone else that really cares about her? I'm busting at the seems every-time I see her, just trying not to grab her and tell her how I feel. But at the same time I don't want to be the sleezy guy that tries to convince girls to cheat on their boyfriends. What should I do?
I think you should definitely wait. I think if she is really so unhappy and really doesn't think it will work out then why hasn't she already broken it off? And if she is willing to cheat on this guy, what makes you think she won't do the very same thing to you down the line? If she tries to make a move again I would tell her that you are definitely interested but that you don't want to get back together this way. If she wants to be with you then she needs to be with you, not just with you when this other guy is making her unhappy.
Wait. Let her break up with him so you don't look like the one who caused the breakup. If you were the other guy you would want the same. Show him respect and let them break up on their own and don't push her a long. If she is that unhappy then she will do it.
I really think you should wait to do anything physical with her kissing,touching etc. Until she is not with this other guy anymore but I don't think there is anything wrong with telling her how you feel and trying to convince her to leave this other guy. Yes it isn't the best way to do things but when you really care for someone that's just the way things are. "All's fair in love and war"
Rule of thumb: Don't do anything you wouldn't want done to you. Unfortunately, this was done to me and it hurt like hell. I find it unacceptable. You want to be able to look yourself in the mirror, and going out with a girl that's already involved is a bad idea - she could turn the tables on you. Would you really trust a girl like that? But what do I know, I'm Just A Random Guy.
Tell her how you feel and let life run its course. If she feels the same then she'll accelerate the breakup plans and you'll be together. If she is unsure, give her the space she needs to do things the way she needs to and if the universe has meant for you two to be together, you'll be together.
I don't think that's wrong. I don't think there is a point in waiting. We don't get that many shots at someone we really care about. How are you doing something good for yourself or her here if she'd rather be with you?
I agree that she should break things off with him before you get it on, but I don't see a problem with expressing your interest and encouraging her to leave him. It could backfire or not work out or whatever, but that happens with unattached girls too - it just changes the reason given that's all.
I definitely should wait until she breaks up with her present boyfriend before pursuing her. There is no way you can have a real relationship until this happens. If you do anything with her while they are still together, then its like she cheated. And I don't think you would want to start a relationship with those kinds of feelings.
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