Ex girlfriend wants to get back together. should I get back with her?

My ex and I recently broke up about a month ago. We were together for about a year. She has two kids (4 & 6) with her baby daddy. When we first started dating, she would sometimes be unsure about our relationship and break up, only to get back with one of her exes. She did that twice, and after each time after about a week she would realize that she truly loved me and couldn't be away from me. So we would get back together and everything would be fine. After about 6-7 months together we decided to move in together. Everything was fine until we would start to have arguments. After a few months of on an off fights she would start to get distant again and act strange towards me. After living with each other for a few months she broke up with me saying that it wasn't going to work, and that we were fighting too much and she couldn't deal with it. She said she was done. So she kicked me out of the apartment and I went to live with family untill I could get another apartment. While being single she hooked up with some guy and that was it. a few weeks later she was calling and texting me saying that she wants me back and how much she loves me and that we could work to get our relationship back. I was devastated because of the breakup and hearing this was good news to me, because I never wanted to break up in the first place. So we got back together and I moved back in with her and her kids.. Shortly after, worse came to worse and we started fighting again. nothing much had changed. After two months of being back together and living with her.. we broke up again and I moved back in with my family.. Now two weeks later after being out of the house. she is calling me telling me that she loves me and that she wants to get back together again and that things will change and we can be happy.

I still love her, even tho she has done me wrong in the past. I will not go back living with her, because I think that because we were spending too much time together was part of the problem. We also were unable to get away or be alone after any of the fights. We never actually had time alone. So it was like we were stuck together. I have tried dating other girls, but its not the same as being with her.. I feel so comfortable being with her, but I am cautious because of her past behavior. I don't want to get hurt again, but I still have feelings for her

Should I get back with her (just not move it)?

Ive told her that we can be friends only for now and that if in the future it is meant to be, we will be together. But chances are, we both will move on.

thanks for your guidance and oppinions,... it has really helped.


Most Helpful Guy

  • I think it's time to move on. I lost count how many times she changed her mind reading all of that story. If she can't decide what she wants for even a year it's not going to work for the long term.

    If you insist on being with her at least don't get back now. Tell her no and give it time. If she still thinks she loves you after enough time go back to basics - dating. If it's feeling good and possibly better than before maybe move forward.

    if you keep taking her back so easily she can come and go as she pleases and it doesn't sound like she knows what she wants...


What Girls Said 4

  • I don't think this is a good idea to get back together with her. I have seen so many friends in relationships that are up/down/up/down and guess what?...it never changes. I think that's very selfish of her to be back and forth with different exes and other hookups only to find out that she "still loves you". If you truly love someone, you only need to learn your lesson once. I'm a firm believer in absence makes the heart grow fonder, but what she's doing to you is different. You should learn from this experience and never be played with again. Good luck.

  • OH MY GOODNESS. You are not a rag doll. You don't need to be thrown around. Stand up for yourself. She knows she can go back and fourth to you, and you let her. If she wants to be with you, she would be with you and stay with you. If she keeps breaking up with you to be with other people she's obviously playing games. Don't sit around and wait for her. There are so many people in the world you need to go live life!

  • She is not good for you time to move on. I believe people change but it is very hard and doesn't always last.

  • no, ex's are ex's for reason's. your call though. do what you want, but your stupid if you get back with her.


What Guys Said 7

  • First off, what does your family say about this girl? Are they giving you any advice?

    Secondly, and this is going to sound mean, but grow some balls. This girl is using you and walking all over you and you don't seem to care. No matter how much you "love her" or try your best to treat her like a queen it's NEVER going to work. She doesn't respect you and never will because she knows she can treat you like garbage and you'll still be there when she's bored or lonely.

    My advice is stop contact with this woman. Move on and meet other girls. It may not be as "comfortable" as going back to her but that can be a good thing. You will meet a great girl that you love even more and who more importantly respects you!

    • Do you think the problem could have been we moved in together too fast, before we really got to know each other?When we started fighting, she didn't know how to deal with it (lack of space), and she doesn't really talk to much about her feelings so all the problems kind of bottled up inside. can't that force you to make irrational decisions? could it just be that we aren't ready to live together? because for the most part, before, our relationship was great. I'm just so confused. thx 4 ure help!

    • The thing is here, you are still trying to rationalize these things. The thing is, yes, you probably moved in too fast, but going back and fixing that is too late here. There is already too much resentment built up that it will just continue to spiral downward. It's not a matter of she didn't know how to deal with lack of space, all women need space. If you smother them -- any of them -- you will experience problems. You are so interested in this girl that you are grasping at straws.

  • Dude, she is using you because she knows you will be there! You need to summon the self-respect to get rid of this girl. How many times does she need to do this before you finally catch on? Remember dude, the important thing is to go by a woman's ACTIONS, not by what she SAYS to you. She says she realizes she truly loves you and can't be away? Dude, if you continue doing what you've always been doing, you'll keep getting the same results. I promise. I have been in your situation before, quite a few times. Girls who love you (for real) don't do this crap.

  • Dude, I really hope you get another girlfriend soon. When you are in another relationship you will be able to look back and see how bad the previous one was.


  • I say you stay away from this girl, she is really messed up in the head with everything that has happened to her and she'll never be a good girl for you. You don't need this in your life so move on.

  • f*** that sh*t move on mang.

  • yeah.. I am so going through the same thing as wel.. eventually you will both move on.. as men we just need someone to fill that void.. and when we find it she will be devistated cause she knows what you put into her.. that will be going to the next one.. when she is just out there looking for a date a slate