Should I stay with my cheating girlfriend?

OK, me and my girl found out that she might be pregnant, she took a test and it showed negative so we had like a party that lasted like 5 days straight. well when we got sh*t faced, she asked if I would let her sleep my friend while I watched...i said no but she did it anyways. I have forgiven her, but I can't decide whether or not to stay with her. when I talked to her, she said part of why she did it is that she grew up in a gang where the girls were passed around like objects used for sex...n she has been passed around since she was 13. I am no gang member, I don't act like it, and I am gentleman who is not afraid to be romantic, sweet, and affectionate. so again, I state my question, should I stay with her? but also, does anyone know why she might have cheated?

btw, here is an update, I'm pretty sure she kept cheatin on me, but I stayed with her and I stayed faithful to her! but she left me, o well! it hurts every day, but its startin to hurt a little worse. I loved her, I really did.


Most Helpful Girl

  • I feel bad for you. It is really hard to be cheated on.

    You asked why she cheated and I can't tell you. No one can. What I can say is that your girlfriend seems to have had a hard life. Often people who have a history of bad sexual stuff (like your girlfriend's experiences with the gang) have a very hard time having normal relationships. Even if they want to have a normal, trusting relationship, it is hard for them to follow through on this. Your girlfriend is very lucky to have a boyfriend like you. You sound like a good, caring, normal guy. Often girls who have had bad experiences with sex end up with horrible guys. So I can't tell you why she cheated, but it might be related to the bad experiences in her past. Or maybe not. Maybe she is like most cheaters and she just doesn't have good self-control.

    You want to know what you should do now. I can't tell you that either. This is a tough situation. Most of the time, I would tell you to end your relationship because people who cheat often do not have good self-control and they end up cheating again. But in this case, your girlfriend is getting over a tough history of bad sexual experiences with the gang members. So maybe you should cut her some slack. If you do choose to stay with her, you should think about the fact that it might not be easy. She has bad experiences to get over and she might not know how to have a normal relationship. So it might be a lot of work for you.

    The bottom line is, this is a tough situation. The easiest thing to do would probably be to end the relationship. But if you really want to be with this girl, then with some work, you might be able to figure things out and have a great relationship. Whatever you decide to do, maybe you should help her find a counsellor to deal with her issues from the past. Good luck!

    • I understand the whole problem with the bad sexual history as I was sexually abused when I was younger, and I will be the first to admit that I was a cheater...but I never had anyone stand beside me. but I do love this girl, and I think she may be the one seeing as we have been through a lot of the same sh*t in life. we both have a bad past, but we both know that we love just makes this situation harder

    • Well, if you decide to stay with her, I would think carefully about how to make things work in the future. Ask yourself if she is making an effort to get over her tough past by getting counselling. Ask yourself if you feel you can trust her. It is great that you are so loyal, but please do make sure that you realize you deserve a girl who will treat you with respect. If this girl does not change her behavior, I would think about moving on. Good luck!

What Girls Said 5

  • I think you know what you need to do. If you are second guessing your relationship, you should trust your feelings. As for her 'excuse' as to why she did what she did, that's far more disturbing than the fact that she actually cheated. She doesn't sound as though she is ready to be with someone who is as devoted as you are. People cheat for all different reason, you may or may not ever know her real reason. I don't want to be rude, but I think her excuse was a pitty excuse. That doesn't seem fair to you at all. Either way, I wish you the best.

  • I say leave her, no one deserves to be cheated on. No matter what the excuse.

  • Seeing what her explanation was when you guys tallked about it, NO I do not think that you should stay with her. Obviously, this is something that she wanted to do. There was no justification just an excuse, because no girl that was passed around among guys would like for it to continue because that is called raped. That was an excuse she used to justify what she did. DId you watch? That wasn't very cool either...I would have walked away and never turned back.

    • I didn't watch, but I instead punched a hole through my wall and broke a stud and then cried not from the pain of my fist but of the pain from my heart breaking

  • No. She's unhealthy and this little problem of hers won't just go away. She's screwed up and this will come back to burn you again and again.


What Guys Said 3

  • Are you seriously asking man? I know love is blind, but she totally disrespected you and your relationship. Stop accepting her excuses and tell her to fix her problems. Like the other person said you will never be able to fully trust someone who would do something like that to you.

    She's damaged goods and needs to fix herself BEFORE she can be with someone in a real relationship.

  • relationships are about trust. How can you stay with someone and continue a relationship if she has cheated on you? You can play the whole, "well I love her" bit but in all reality what makes you think she loves you, and if she does love you why would she cheat on you or allow herself to be put in a spot where she would think about cheating?

    My answer would be NO, because even if you do stay with her you will always have some sort of doubt in your mine. I say move on.

  • Don't take that BS from her she's obviously just a dumb ho. YOU TOLD HER NO SHE DID IT ANYWAYS! Unless she's hard of hearing there's no excuse for that. I mean come on why the hell would that thought cross her mind. That's just called being a stupid ho really. Bro I think you deserve much better. Dump her and find a better girl. As for your friend who slept with her I'd kick his ass. Her story about being passed around is a load of garbage. She was basically raped from the age of thirteen onward and she thinks that's a valid excuse. Yeaaaaaa riiiiiight. Dump the bitch find a better girl.

    ~As you can tell I hate cheaters they disgust me. So yea this is a very touchy subject for me...