Is this partitally my fault?

So, there's this guy i've been "talking" to for a few weeks. We just had casual conversations and he was telling me how he had been single for a while. Today, he asked me to be his girlfriend and I said "yes." I told my best friend that he and I are dating and then it circulated around the school. I was walking into the bathroom to fix my makeup before lunch, when this girl comes in and was like "Amber, why would you date someone else's boyfriend?" I was just like what? I was so confused. She explained to me how they have been together for 3 months and I told her that he told me he was single and I showed her the text messages. She said she wasn't mad at me or anything because I didn't know. During lunch, I usually chill in the courtyard with my circle and we just talk about random shit. That's when she came up to me and asked if I had talked to him today and I told her "no." *I honestly, have no idea if im quoting correctly..* She texted him and told him to meet her at the courtyard. He came up to us and she asked him to explain what was happening. He straight up told her that he didn't like her and that she was annoying and fake or whatever. He said, "it is what it is" and then just told me to text him and walked off. I almost cursed his ass out, because she started crying and I feel SOOO bad. I understand, I didn't know they were together but I don't know I still feel bad.. What do you think? Can you give me some advice too? No, I am not speaking to him either..

Should I apologize to her?

  • Yess
    Vote A
  • Sort Of
    Vote B
  • Not Really
    Vote C
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Guy

  • You don't need to apologize, you didn't do anything wrong. Though it would be nice to offer some empathetic support. What the guy did was shitty. It's pretty clear that he was waiting to find a replacement girl before dumping her, so he has been using her for who knows how long knowing that he didn't really like her and just keeping her around for physical reasons while he shopped for an upgrade. That's so shitty.

    And anything he does to another girl to get with you is something that he will be willing to do TO you when he finds another girl he likes more. Not speaking to him is the wisest move. This guy clearly only thinks about himself. And that's not what you want in a partner.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Why would you apologize? You did not a damn thing wrong. HE is the one who cheated, you have no obligation to her. Now, if you had known they were together then it would have "sort of" been your fault but it still all goes back to him. I admire that you stopped speaking to him and feel sorry for the girl. Many women would just shrug their shoulders, continue dating the dude, and throw a fit when the same happens to them.

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What Guys Said 8

  • It sounds like you realize it, but if that's how he treats her, that's how he'll probably treat you as well.
    From your post, it seems like she's not really mad at you since you weren't doing anything on purpose to get between them, so you don't really OWE her an apology, though imagine the pain she's in right now being dumped like that... Maybe letting her know that you feel bad that you were involved and that he treated her like that, and that you aren't going to be with that sort of guy, might take a little bit of the sting out of it... Who knows, maybe you and her will become friends?

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  • It's not your fault. I think it wouldn't hurt to apologize though. An apology doesn't mean you are at fault or did anything wrong. It just means you are sorry and feel bad for what happened. You showed her the text, so she already knows it's not your fault.

    This is entirely on the guy. He lied. Then he was outright cold to that girl when she confronted him. I'd question if you want to be with a guy like him. Maybe you and the girl can become friends. You have something in common now.

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  • there's no need to curse him off. Its his choice if he wants to date her or not. If he doesn't want well he doesn't want to - its a simple as that

    He doesn't deserve you giving him the cold shoulder for his personal life

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  • I place no blame at all on you for this. He lied to you and it's not your fault for believing him. You were honest with the other girl and showed whatever proof you had and when he still dumped her, you sided against the cheater and supported the other girl. You handled it perfectly %100. Good job.

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  • No need to apologize but just say you had no idea and he told you he was single. And good that your not speaking to him. Dont know how many women he has asked. Any girl deserve better than that

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  • You were used to hurt someone else

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  • Leave the dude that could may as well be your crying one day he may be a good guy but he need to grow up. The situation wasn't handled well he should have ended the relationship long before you came in the picture.

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  • get away form him trust me

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What Girls Said 1

  • It's not an apology she needs but she might appreciate you just being there for her! It can't be easy for her right now!

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