I've been in a relationship with the same person for about four years and I realized it might not work out when I had a conversation with my father The other day. I work many hours each week I have a girlfriend it doesn't work at all and she's OK with it. Anytime I ask her about a job she tells me i'm being negative and talking down on her. it crushes me because I am only trying to help her. she doesn't want to fill out applications unless I'm there because she needs help and her idea of help is she fills out all the personal information and I do the questions for her. Anytime I talk to her about a job she shuts down or tells me i'm trying to bring her now I'm 24 she's 25 is really frustrating to have someone sit around all day and think it's OK wow you're busting your butt 8 to 12 hours 5 to 7 days a week. She has friends that like to go clubbing and I don't like the way they carry themselves because the designated driver drink and drive and also dress slutty because they think its sexy. She follows what her friends do. She has slowed down on the Clubbing for now because I told her how I felt about it. As far as a job goes I wish she was just more motivated to work instead of do nothing around the house and wait for me to get off I've never been in love before so being in love with someone and breaking up with them because they have no ambition upsets me I wish she would change but I know you can't make people change I don't know what to do I guess I'm using this post vent. Comment and leave your thought please
Most Helpful Girl
You need to reconsider your relationship because moving in w/her/marriage will not get her more motivated. After my experience w/my unmotivated ex I will never date someone w/no ambition. My ex did have a job and was living on his own, but he didn't make any effort to get a better job, get something he was interested in or do activities that he found enjoyable. When I asked what he wanted to do he literally told me the idea would just come to him (in my exp that never happens) I had been looking for a more serious job and was able to find a professional job (that I worked towards) a couple of months ago, my ex is in the exact same place. When she tells you that you are being negative she is manipulating your feelings, my ex told me the exact same thing. I did my best to encourage his interests (of which he had none). His lack of ambition also translated into the way he treated me and I found myself w/a different person. Granted I only dated him for almost a year, but his lack of ambition got on my nerves.1
Most Helpful Guy
How does she afford to live? Either she is getting money from relatives or social security/benefits. I can see your frustration and you definitely seem like the more mature and also conservative one in the relationship. I am doubtful that this relationship is going to work in the long term because it seems like she is not pulling her weight.
Its not normal to sit at home all day, especially if she wants you to do the questions on her forms for her. It sounds like something is wrong.1