Mom is telling me to get over and accept breakup after 3 days?

I just unexpectedly broke up with my boyfriend that I lived with on Saturday and my mom just told me to get over it and accept it.

I don't feel like me being very upset still is too crazy.

Am I wrong?

I'm 21 by the way.

Updates:
he broke up with me very suddenly and out of the blue.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I took 3 years to get over it, and at least a year to get past the cry myself to sleep stage. That said, she was my fiancee, and I had a weird story where she went from "I love you so much" to "I don't know who you are anymore" all in one night.

    I'd say 3 days might be really unreasonable.

    Whatever the time period though, it helps to heal if you kind find something to fall in love with other than your ex, something that excites you instead of moping around in your room, or during idle periods at work, etc. where your mind just wanders off and makes you so depressed.

    So mostly you have to fall in love again if you want to recover sooner than I did. It's tempting to seek a better sense of closure, that's the path of misery. Seeking to do something you always to do in life, accepting invitations from friends to do things you might have previously declined, picking up new hobbies, maybe a makeover, something of this sort should really accelerate the healing.

    It's not time that heals here. It's when you become so in love or preoccupied with something else that your ex seems to get increasingly distant and remote in your mind.

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    • Note that "falling in love" doesn't mean it has to be with someone. It can just be something. Someone might be really unhealthy this soon.

Most Helpful Girl

  • I am so sorry for your sad loss with this 'Very suddenly and out of the blue' Break up, @amberjadej.
    Apparently, Mommy Dearest has Not had her own heart broken in a Month of Mondays and is Taking Your own sad and bad Ordeal and Making Not a Mountain out of a mole hill deal out of this, but with a Minor boo boo kiss.
    It's Not easy to go through a Time in your Life with all of this Strife, and You here, dear, Need to find someone who Gives a... Hill of Beans with what you Mean.
    My mom is always sympathetic to Matters of the Heart but Doesn't always understand Totally until it happens To... Her in a Blur.
    "This too shall pass" is her slogan.
    Good luck and Let time be your best friend now somehow. xxoo

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    • Thank you, @amberjadej for the Vote of Confidence, and wishing you blessings for a better day today, sweetie. xxoo

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What Guys Said 7

  • Well... it depends on the reason why you broke up with him, since you said it's unexpected. I mean.. it's YOU who broke up, so it obviously means you didn't want him any more. So it seems slightly off for you to be so upset.

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  • She doesn't respect you.

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  • go mom

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  • The emotional destruction of a breakup is comparable to the loss of a family member. This is a natural human reaction, and your mother may be having some reaction to it as well, but displays it as a harsh "just get over it" manner.

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  • You're 21 and you still talk to your mom? She's right though, get over it

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  • That's called having an emotionally unsupportive parent.

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  • she's right especially if she's supporting you financially which is a big enough burden without a 21 year old woman locking herself in her room all day listening to taylor swift. #buckupsport

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    • she doesn't support me and I'm not even living with her and I don't like taylor swift

    • Well good for you. Just concentrate on holding down that job and paying your rent and bills and you'll get through it alright.

What Girls Said 7

  • Everyone's period of grief is different. If it takes you 8 years to get over him, that's something that you should take instead of trying to rush it. You need to ensure for your own self in the future that you have closure, lest another relationship in the future causes these unresolved issues to bubble up.

    I think your mom might get over things quickly, but she needs to understand that how long she grieves may not be the same as you. And that's normal because everyone is different.

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  • Oh I think every break up is different since every relationship is different. That said three days seems awfully fast for any relationship. I'd guess your mom is trying in her way to console you because she's been through her own experiences. One of the hardest things about parenting, though, is letting your kids have their own experiences and their own life lessons.

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  • Your mum has a good point. Your boyfriend broke up with you suddenly and out of the blue. You may love him still or whatever, but you'll need to accept it for what it is and slowly move on.. in your own time and pace

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    • get over it. is not 'in your own time and space'.

    • @Azara I separated the two separately. I said your mum has made a good point.

      But I told her "just to move on in her own time and pace"

  • Hunny, first off I want to say I'm sorry he broke up with you out of thin air. That's the thing with guys they get away with straight up murder but us girls still fall back into their traps and always get hurt. It's life cycle i guess but they always get away with it your mom telling you that is from my point of view she's hiding her pain because you are hurt too. trust my mom always knows what to say and what to do even if its not the nicest thing she will always be on your side. Its natural for you to feel lost and hurt i mean he didn't even say goodbye.. just go back to your normal schedule without him and talk to your mom she can help you get through this tough stage in your life. best of luck with everything

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  • My parents kind of did the same thing to me. Later I asked why, and they said it hurt them to see me so hurt. Telling me basically to suck it up didn't help, at all... I have a cousin that is close to my age and has gone through it before and that helped a lot. She's strong in the Lord and gave me sound advice. Just know that everyone grieves differently and that's okay! Your mom loves you and she wants the best, it's just hard for them to show it. Lean on the Lord.

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  • I say it's too soon still especially since it was unexpected

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  • Mom's wrong, everyone has their own 'time' to get over it
    you take your time

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