After a break up and no contact period (NC) who is responsible for initiating contact? The dumper or the dumpee?

Having had a discussion about this previously with friends we are not sure as to who would go about initiating contact again for whatever reason?

Personally I feel like the dumper should be the one to start talking again as they were the one who ended the relationship. However should the dumpee be responsible/able to initiate contact if they are ready to?

I ask as I have been in a NC period for 3 months now and I am over any emotional issues that came with the breakup and am in a good place. What I want to know is whether or not it is ok to try and talk to my ex/old friend yet or should I wait it out til she is ready to come to me? Basically is it the dumpees or dumpers problem to initiate contact?

I am interested to hear your opinions and thoughts :)


0|0
83

Most Helpful Girl

  • haha well personally speaking, i really dont like the "who should message or talk first" thing. I really think that if you want to talk to the person, you just start off. Holding grudges or ego over it will just mess up things.

    When my ex husband and i broke up, although it was him who decided to call off, i really didn't mind getting to talk to him generally. Its all about do you want to talk to the person or not.

    Hope it clears some of your confusion :)

    0|0
    0|0
    • It does clear my confusion and help. I guess I am coming from the point of if I am ready to talk should I just go for it and just initiate a friendly chat and gauge the response?

    • Show All
    • Great, we were awesome friends before all the dating stuff and break up happened so I figure after waiting it out for 3 months it can't hurt to say hello :)

    • yeah go for it. Valuing friendship over ego or pride is quite important thing too :)

Most Helpful Guy

  • if there is ever contact again , usually it be the person who did the dumping decides to for whatever reason try and talk to person they dumped again. either just to be friends or cause they want them back sort of thing. if the dumpee tried often to regain contact , the person likely accuse them of stalking or such

    0|0
    0|0
Sponsored

Have an opinion?

0/2500

Send It!

What Girls Said 7

  • Both, I don't think there's any rules it just depends on how you end it. When I do the whole no contact, I don't contact them every again if they say they need space, I usually just let them text me or if i'm impatient then I"ll text them.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Whoever wants to.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Dumper.

    They did the esteem damage to the other one, so they ought to initiate contact. Should they not be very receptive to your contact, give them time before trying again.

    0|0
    0|0
    • So basically just try and open a friendly non invasive, no pressure chat and if there isn't a positive response then try again at a later date? Assuming the later date fails to then just give up on trying to be friendly?

    • Yep. Sounds about right to me.

    • Great, thanks for your opinion

  • Unless you want her back romantically. Do not talk to her, she doesn't want to be friends, trust me.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I think that it really matters who initiate contact first, but the dumpee might not do it because they don't want to seem desperate or clingy.

    0|0
    0|0
  • You should watch some of Brad Browning's videos on YouTube. He talks about what steps to take and what to text ur ex and how often if you want them back, but if you don't want them back and you just want to play catch up then that's different

    0|0
    0|0
  • The dumper, for the reason you stated.

    0|0
    0|0

What Guys Said 2

  • It's the dumpers duty to initiate contact.

    0|0
    0|0
  • by the time it's safe to contact the other, u won't have the urge to.

    that's the point.

    0|0
    0|0
Loading...