Break up advice?

My boyfriend broke up with me a week ago. Tomorrow would have been our 9 month anniversary. It was out of the blue, I was so shocked. He didn't really give me an explanation except I am going to college this fall and he can't do it. In the past he always would talk about how we could maintain a long distance relationship. And he seemed confident. (I'll only be an hour and a half away) I wrote a letter to him today. Would it be appropriate if I give it to him tomorrow? We both decided we're going to meet up sometime and talk but I'm not sure when. I'm still so confused about everything. I dream about him and his family every night. He's constantly on my mind and I still cry everyday. I miss him so much. Do you think me writing him will push him away?


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What Guys Said 2

  • This is really complicated, but most of the time this unfortunately doesn't work, especially if it's a long-winded letter explaining your feelings. I wish it did, if simply the strength of our feelings was enough to keep two people together.

    It often helps in these cases to give things some time, or at the very least, try to keep it light-hearted. Since this break up was out of the blue and took on a mysterious nature, he might still has feelings for you he didn't relinquish just yet.

    Maybe if you attempt a letter, try to keep it kind of on the shorter side instead of some dramatic explanation, or wait until you two meet in person and kind of talk to him there. I'm not sure if the strength of *your* feelings alone is enough to change him mind, it's probably going to be more based on the strength of *his* feelings.

    So it might help to try to be at your very best, not sobbing in front of him, but being exactly who he fell for originally.

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    • he might still has [/have] [...]

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    • Remember that love is always a game of attraction. It's not a fair game, it can be devastatingly unfair during a break up. But the strategy is to be attractive, not pitiful.. pitiful is usually not attractive. Your heart will be screaming and in agony, but you have to be level-headed, try to be calm, cheerful. It helps if you do something fun that preoccupies you, not just busy, but fun and absorbs your interest. It'll help you heal no matter what happens, but healing is your best chance at winning back his affections. Being a pitiful creature might make him try to leave your life, thinking that he'll simply prolong your misery by being around.

  • Talk to him in person. No letter, face to face

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What Girls Said 1

  • I think you should sit and have a looooong talk with him.
    Break ups suck.
    Heck my feelings get hurt even if I barely new the guy a week and he broke up with me.
    It stinks.
    But your heart will learn to heal.
    But yeah, talk to him and see what's going on. Tell him that you are being real and bare and there isn't anything to lose.
    Well; besides your relationship.

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