I never believed in fairy tales till it actually happened to me. I fucking screwed up. I lied and twisted my way through the relationship till he got fed up and left. A month later, I realised what an awful person I am. Apologising to him is not possible. What's the best way to forgive myself and move on?
Most Helpful Guy
Fall in love with something new that fills the hole left in the gaping heart. *Someone* is not advisable, *something*. Once healed, you can find that someone.
You don't really forgive yourself in these cases necessarily. You become like a phoenix, reborn, and the past self will seem like someone else.2
Most Helpful Girl
You obviously feel guilty and have realised you were in the wrong , so the only thing you can do is learn from your mistake. Like they say, your best teacher is your last mistake. Mediate on the reasons why you felt you had to lie , then challenge your behaviour and change your ways, so you don't repeatedly make the same mistake, by lying and deceiving in future relationships
Some of the most valuable lessons in life are those learnt from the most painful experiences caused by your own wrong decisions. Mistakes shouldn't define you , they should guide you. So just work on improving yourself.2