Why is it so hard to move on from someone you never technically dated?

It's hard, just wondering why.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I'm way too familiar with the feeling.

    If I had to guess, I'd say it's because when you like someone, you build this fantasy, this dream, this illusion in your head of what it'd be like if you two were together.

    Then one day something happens that crushes all those hopes. REALITY hits you. You understand that all that daydreaming was a waste of time. It's like you two didn't even get to try it out, didn't get the chance to live up to those expectations, for better or for worse. It's just a lot of what ifs, could have beens, etc, that start attacking your brain.

    Something ends without even beginning. It just doesn't feel right, doesn't feel fair. That's why.

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What Guys Said 8

  • I think that kind of happened to me. Still trying to figure out a way to clear those feelings of wanting someone that I can never really have and be with, well at least I see no hope and that it's really no point in trying any more. I think it was someone from long ago since back in high school. I always thought, those kind of feelings and/or bitterness can't get to me, but then I realize one day oh shit I am actually feeling these shitty bitter emotions and there is no real simply easy way to fix and get rid of them permanently for good. Well I've just have to do something about it and find a way sooner or later anyway.

    There had been too many things have changed about myself for me to even want to ever really be with anyone at all anymore.

    I learned to keep in mind that it's all but delusions and that these desires are nothing more than fantasies that can never be. All the physical attractions, crushes, lust, infatuations that we all had ever felt or will feel towards others are nothing more than hormones and chemicals running through our minds and bodies trying to drive and push us as many steps as possible towards relationships that will lead to the reproduction process.

    I gave up and don't believe in any of those desires being really special or unique any more when I realized that. these hormones are just there to try and reduce the chance of living species from dying out. And I refuse to accept all this cycle and pattern so I gave up on the idea of ever having any children or family of my own. I didn't want any once I had realized that relationships and family's sole real purpose is reproduction and to keep generations of living species going, and that it's really one generation passing on to the next because the previous generation will eventually die out, so they keep this cycle going. All birth and life eventually ends and then the cycle of possibility of death and suffering repeats from reproduction and birth, all over again, guaranteed.

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  • Because you have to let go of that person in your mind and heart. For a lot of people that is never easy and letting go of the past is hard. I think the best way to get over anybody is by making yourself happy, stay busy and eventually dating again.

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  • The what if's, wondering what it would be like, etc at least that's what I'd imagine it would be like, I try to make a habit of never having regrets or what if's.

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  • Maybe because you nerver got to know if it could have worked out and that it takes time to lose strong feelings. I had a crush that lasted for two years turned out that one wasn't in to guys :/ But I got over him as soon as I started getting feelings for my current partner. Also if you meet your crush everyday it will make it harder to get over the crush, although you have to then give up on spending time with an supposedly awesome person. So it's tricky I suppose

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  • For some reason I feel like this is a girl named Jordan. I am trying to help my friend Alex out and she might think I like her. Hopefully not, I like a girl named Melanie, she's amazing

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  • Because you're thinking to much about that person, you need to try to move on. Search someone different and you will get over it.

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  • Because life isn't meant to be fun

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  • Because they are ummm i dont know. But i have felt that before a lot.

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What Girls Said 7

  • because u invested some form of emotions into them, even if they aren't yet love.

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  • I often wonder that too. I guess it's because even tho you may not have dated, you still had feelings. And if those feelings were genuine, then it's hard to just turn them off.

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  • I have been through this many times. Still dealing with it. It is hard because you feel like you never got the chance to test it out. With a break up you can see it did not work out. But since this is all hypothetical it is hard to let go of.

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  • Probably because at least when you break up with someone you probably have some bad things they have done to you or reasons why you aren't compatible with them anymore. With people you never dated you are left with the "what ifs" more.

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  • Just because y'all didn't date doesn't mean you can't have feelings and might be even worse because you never had that closure of the what's if or actually being in a relationship with that person

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  • its hard if u develop feelings for someone regardless of anything.

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  • it's not that hard i guess.

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