I want to brake up with my girlfriend but I want to stay friends with her?

Dont get me wrong, i really love this girl, she is amazing in every sense of the world, but i am going to study and i probably won't see her in at least two years because of the lack of money. Personally i think i am being also selfish, because i cannot satisfy the physical needs for her that i know do bother her. She has mentioned before that she understands the distance might play a difficulty in our relationship and if down the line we find somebody else that she would understand.

However regardless of what she said, i know it would be very hard for her, because i know she really loves me.

Also like i mentioned before i don't want to stop talking to her or for her to be mad at me, because she is a lot of fun and has helped me to grow so much as a person and helped in very diffciult times that she means the world to me.

How do i brake it up to her without braking her heart?


Most Helpful Girl

  • My ex did this to me a year ago and I'm still kind of heart broken. No matter what you do or how nicely you put it, if she really loves you you're gonna break her heart into pieces. And staying friends will only cause you two to keep tabs on each other and kind of still feel obligated and fateful to each other (having the hope, you know), which will prevent her from falling in love with someone else. Even though my ex had pretty "legit" reasons (the distance, the studying, lack of money, etc.), I still ended up resenting him and thinking of him as a weak man. I agree with AnnVdB, if you really loved her you wouldn't do this. I know I wouldn't. I thought about it but I just couldn't and I didn't wanted to. He wanted us to stay friends and we did for awhile, but it only caused more pain and more resentment towards him. All I could think about was "why don't you man up and deal with this situation!". I was ready to move away and quit my job and start all over for him, but he didn't see it as a good idea, which made me question his love for me... I think if you break up with her, she's gonna have doubts as well, no matter what you say or do after that. But if you already decided to do it, don't stay friends. Don't even keep in touch. You have to life through consequences by dumping her, and one of it is not seeing her ever again. Are you sure you want to do that? It's up to you, but be careful though, regret hurts like a bitch.

    • Well, unlike your ex I was down for her to come to the US and live here. I was also thinking of going down there, but the language barrier would have been a huge problem, mainly because I don't speak jack Spanish. She obviously speaks English very well, but she just doesn't want to come here :s

    • Thnx for MHO! So what happened, did you break up?

Most Helpful Guy

  • Can't be done. My only useful advice is be very clear that your decision is final.


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What Girls Said 3

  • Sorry but you can't say whether or not you two will be friends or continue talking or not. Accept that you're going to have to hurt someone you care about in order to do what is right for your life. She's going to be heart broken. She may not want to stay in contact with you, now or ever. That's just the way life is.

    • hmmmm i know what you mean. I really hope that is not what you are saying though.

  • The answer to that is simple: you don't. You'll break her heart either way you look at it. The best thing you can do is be completely honest with her and extend your offer of friendship.

    • thanks, I will do that.

  • Seems like you dont really love her tho, else there would be no way in hell you would think about breaking up with her, even with distance.

    • why people always say that? Relationships are more than just saying i love you and giving somebody a label.

    • Show All
    • I know I just couldnt do it personally.
      We live pretty close :) Im from Belgium he is from denmark. So both Europe.
      And yes indeed you would have to do that, and see if your willing to take that step. If not then yes do what you think is best. I guess you both talked about this deeply?

    • yes mam, we have

What Guys Said 1

  • I honestly believe you did a fine job just in explaining the situation and asking this question. My belief is honesty is always best 100 % of the time. I would just explain it to her as you did to us.