Does not talking after the break up mean he doesn't love me anymore?

Hi! I recently broke up with my now ex boyfriend because we were in a long-distance relationship and I started getting overwhelmed by the fact that we barely saw each other. I told him about it and after a few attempts to calm my fears he just became distant (which makes sense, I guess). The more distant he became, the more I expressed my doubts about the relationship in a vicious circle until I couldn't take it anymore and broke up with him. When I broke up I told him that I loved him and I was very sorry about everything. He was very cold. He never contacted me again and the only time I contacted him, he said it was better this way and that he wanted to move on... it's been three months and I still haven't heard from him, but I think about him every single day and I really regret what happened, especially because in 2 months I am moving back to where he lives. I was very impulsive in my decision and I don't know if I should reach out to him and try to talk... but the fact that he was so cold makes me think that maybe he just really wants to move on and it's selfish not to let him. On the other hand, if he still loves me, I'd do anything to make him happy and work on my issues. And knowing that I'll be back very soon, my issues will not last long either. What do you think?


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What Guys Said 2

  • The relevant thing here is that he wants to move on. That's pretty much all there is to it. You could try letting him know that you're moving back, but I wouldn't hold my breath.

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    • yeah, I guess that's what he deserves after all I put him through. I'll tell him when I'm back so I can give him some extra months... we'll see...

  • Long story short, you fucked up. What gets me is you broke up with him and you expect him to be nice and act like nothing happened? What are smoking? If you can dump him so easily over nothing I wouldn't have you back and neither will he

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    • well it wasn't really over nothing... it was over the fact that we were in two different continents, with 8h of difference to talk, we weren't going to see each other in at least 5-6 months and we were having a lot of trouble finding a time to Skype because I finished class when we was already going to sleep... So no, it wasn't nothing. I did love him though, and overwhelming as it was, it had really great moments. When I broke up I told him it was because I wasn't able to handle not seeing him and barely talking but that I really loved him and I wished things were different... I broke up because I was tired of bringing him down with my sad episodes from not being able to truly be with him, I felt like he could be better without me dragging him down. I just didn't know that I'd go back home so soon and without the distance, everything else was perfect... I just think he's too fed up now and I don't know if there's a way I can fix that...

    • I've had one of those relationships and I ended mine too because the costs to meet and to get her over here was just insurmountable. I'm sorry

What Girls Said 1

  • It's like everything works AS PER YOU in the relationship. When distance started taking a toll over you, you broke up. Now, it would be convenient for you to resume your relationship, so you want him back in your life. I am sorry, but it's harsh, and I feel sad for your ex boyfriend. When two people are in relationship, you have to think about other's feelings as well and gotta stop focusing JUST on your needs. He obviously wanted to make it work, but your issues pushed him away. You may try to reach out again and explain how you are coming back physically near to him, but I am not sure how he may react. Don't have high expectations. He needed time to move on, and that's why he has not contacted you again.

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    • I know, that's why I feel like I can learn a lot from the break up and work on all the things I did wrong like focussing on my needs instead of his. I guess I was just feeling very lonely in this new continent, without actual friends, my friends back home are still meeting but I'm missing all that... and I sort of wanted him to compensate for everything and the fact that he couldn't just made me feel like he was also moving on from the relationship because he couldn't see me. I know it was a very irrational and insecure feeling. I know that he loved me and he tried to work on the relationship and he tried to make me feel better because he knew I was feeling lonely and lost here. But I guess he realized he also needed to focus on his life, that's when I felt abandoned by everyone and now that I realize that it was a very self-centered view and that I shouldn't have doubted the love of my friends and my now ex boyfriend. I just don't know how to tell him all this or if I should...

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