I'm thinking about leaving my husband?

I've really been dealt the straw that breaks the camel's back. My husband and I currently live apart, due to a transfer. He was suppose to come here in April. The issue for him staying longer was that he wanted to finish paying off his lease and bills for his apartment (lease ends the 28th of February). He also wanted to stay the additional 2 months to work, but he was let go 2 weeks ago. Well, last month I found out that I was pregnant (almost 4 months now)!

He agreed to come here in March since he would pay things off this month (February), and up until last week it was the same. Now he's putting it off until April again, because a cousin from Canada is coming to visit. He's putting his cousin before his pregnant wife.

I really need his help, but now I'm considering divorcing him. He's a financial burden, if he had a job I wouldn't be paying his bills. I'd have enough money to have an apartment, a car and still be able to save for the baby. Physically, I need his help, but he's failing as a husband. Again, this isn't the first strike.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • You need to have an in-person, face to face talk with him once. Then, if he doesn't budge, considerr a divorce.

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    • Can't really talk in person.

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    • So he was fine with you divorcing him? And didn't even try to talk you out of it? In that case, yes it's better to divorce him. It would also save your child from growing up with an irresponsible dad. But just make sure you're in a position to raise your kid a s a single mom.

      Really sorry this had to happen. Women really need their SO to be with them at a time like this. :(

Most Helpful Girl

  • You're married and about to have his baby. Do you really think divorce is a good idea? Tell him he needs to get his ads home... TODAY. No messing about, get home now. Then have a serious talk with him and say that he needs a job, any job. He needs to grow up as he is about to be a father and you will not care for two children.

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    • He's over 2000 miles away. He's put off moving and getting his things in order to smoke weed and sleep at home. He wants to just work at a fast food place. Like I wish I could make this up... I don't have a car to get back and forth from work, medical appointments, and where I live. I have no one to help lift heavy things. Without him financially draining me, I could do this for myself. I wouldn't struggle as much.

    • First of all, cut him off financially. You need to sort you and baby out. Second, any job is better than none but I can understand your concern at his lack of ambition.

      Second, he needs to stop smoking weed. If he isn't working he can't afford it, especially since he should be helping with you.

      What is his reaction when you tell him he needs to step up and be a husband and father?

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What Guys Said 3

  • Divorce him, period. A cousin from Canada coming to visit? What a joke. He have a pregnant wive carrying his first child and use this excuse? It is ok if he is unemployed and looking for a job, given the economy today. What is not ok is having a cousin visit over the baby. U have serious talking to do. I hope it turns up well for u. I hope he was on drugs or something. But if he really means it... hmmm i think ur marriage is over.

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  • I believe money are not important within one relationship, everything should be based on
    compromises and talking all the problems in order for their properly solving.

    I belive is too early stage for divorcing, this world is completely gone wrong,
    the same situation I was my girlfriend break up with me, because she wanted to find her happiness and having nice and fit body? hearts of stone.

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    • I have nothing here while he's 2000 miles away. I need a car and an apartment. Considering I have to make medical appointments, get to work and buy food. He admitted to me that he's just been smoking weed, hanging out at his mom's house being with his siblings. This isn't the first time I've brought up divorce. He's useless to me.

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    • I've already talked to him multiple times. I'm tired of words, because what I say goes through one ear and out through the other.

    • Well if you think you will not be happy with him make your decision and tell him, hope you did not regret one day.
      Since my girlfriend break up with me it was long relationship 4 years and she just said I stopped love you, I was doing everything for her and finally this...

  • K... what do you need from us?

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What Girls Said 4

  • Divorce him and be done with the leech
    Focus on your baby

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  • Your instincts won't be too far off... definitely sounds like he's avoiding you. Divorce if you feel it's right for you and your baby.

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  • I don't know if it's a good choice to divorce when you're pregnant... are you ready to raise that child mostly on your own? are you really sure that's what you want? maybe you should tell him how important it is for him to come back ASAP... tell him that you're very angry at him for doing this again... but divorce is a big big step.

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  • You need to be upfront and let him know that he is failing, and if he doesn't take it seriously then do ur thing.

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    • I've told him multiple times. He's just not being a man.

    • Did you tell him in person? If so then I think you should aquire all the support you can get and leave him, or at least have a trial separation so your can see if you really want to proceed in divorce.

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