Guys, Why lie and say you never meant to hurt me, when you knew what you were doing was wrong and that your actions would hurt me?

My ex of 4.5 years and I ended it after I caught him with not one, but three other women in full-blown relationships. Some for years. I did everything short of beg him for answers and honesty when it happened I was hurt, he refused to let me know why lead on such a lie for so long. Now almost a year later he wants to clear his conscious and seek my forgiveness. I told him to go fuck himself or whoever the new group of ladies is, but why would a man lie like that for so long? I don't understand royally fucking someone over like that without knowing and enjoying the fact that it will hurt someone else.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • First off i want to say i know where you are coming from my ex cheated on me and it was horrible granted we were together only 6 months but either way no one deserves to be cheated on ever. He doesn't want to admit to him self that he is a peace of sh1t he knows he is he just doesn't want to admit it. You already know you are way way way better than he could ever hope to be. He's just coming out now to clear his own mind to find some peace with in him self so he doesn't have that weighing down on him anymore. It could also be because he had something similar happen to him so he now knows what you felt. Karma's a B*tch and she's brought bricks to a glass house and is making it rain... Seriously tho they say what goes around comes around. You are way better than him just please dont let this affect you with other men. I promise we're not all that way.

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    • Thanks, it has affected how I see other men. It has been almost a year and I have not flirted or pursued any other type of relationship. I just can't wrap my head around what's a real genuine moment and what isn't. I gave a guy my number and I struggled not to ask him how many girlfriends he had. I didn't and I never called him. Before this I thought I was loved, now I just don't know anymore.

    • That's very understandable. Take as much time as you need to heal. It takes time. I found out my now ex girlfriend cheated on me and It tore me up I would try to date but it just hurt so much. Now im feeling a lot better and am open to the idea of dating again but I've only went on a few. Remember nothing wrong with taking time and when you do start dating again be picky.

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What Guys Said 1

  • So sorry you went through that and I do not have really a good answer for it, except to say that some guys, to them honesty means nothing and they sure do not take the women's feeling into account, but there are guys out there.. me being one of them that would not lie to my partner either on a date.. or in a long term relationship.. we are not all painted with the same brush stroke.

    I am glad you did not let him back into your life because he would continue to string you along.. even though he said more or less he wants a clear conscience.. I really do hope all things down the road work out for you.. and hope the next guy you are with is at least honest to you.. with out honesty in a relationship.. all to me is not well.. this is only my opinion but hope it some how was a comforting one.. take care and have a great day

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