Why do couples divorce/break up?

Now, I know what you guys must be thinking like "ain't it obvious? Soooo stupid" but I'm wondering why couples divorce or break up because we all get into fights; some nasty some mild. Whether it be with a parent (s) or siblings or friends or what not, but we all get back together right? It's not like we divorce from our families and friends (unless circumstances are extremely detrimental like verbally/physically abusive) but some couples just end it cause they fight too much even if things aren't that bad or they divorce cause the love is lost or the sex is boring. I mean these are things that can be fixed so why rush to ending it? Instead of searching for alternative methods to fixing it. If you could fix things with friends and family (granted not all bonds are mended, but you know what I mean) all then I'm pretty sure people can do it with SO's and I know some couples do, but then why do they give up in the end?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • In my case (divorce) it was both our faults. We both had different methods of doing things. Combine that with a fear of change and you have a great recipe for a breakup! Slap two imperfect people together and what will you get? A totally imperfect union. However... if two people accept their part in the problem, they CAN make the necessary changes. It requires perseverance on both sides and a massive amount of patience piled over with gobs of forgiveness.

    If you're fighting the situation all by yourself, trying to change but the other person won't or even try, then yeah, it's breakup time. My ex separated from me. She and I went to counselling after a couple weeks and when they started telling her things she had to change too, that didn't sit well with her. She filed for divorce after 15 years of marriage. It was easier for her to leave than change. The fear of leaving was less than the fear of changing.

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    • Why was she so scared of changing?

    • @Mustachekitteh - I don't know, but she chose to leave instead of work on our differences. There was nothing I personally saw that she and I couldn't have resolved. There was no cheating, no lying, no physical abuse on either side. All of the issues had to do with attitude and approach to each others personality. She was (still is) a VERY passive individual and dislikes any type of conflict. I, OTOH, have a fairly strong personality. I had to bend for her. At the same time, she had to be able to stand up to me and not allow herself to be a doormat.

      In any strong relationship there will be conflict. Both individuals need to stand up to the other for what they believe but also be pliable and flexible enough to know when you're wrong too. Personality change is rarely fun.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Normally it's either that person doesn't want to settle down with just 1. So that causes problems and for people to break up.

    They change over time and don't believe in the same things anymore.

    They could have also made a poor judgement about if the other person is someone they truly love. Most people don't even know what they truly want. Along with know what kind of person that would be perfect with them.

    Then you have people that just want to be in relationships and get married. They don't think about that person they are with. Since they are stuck in the fantasy of what an awesome relationship would be.

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What Guys Said 10

  • There are certain things that attract people, could be money, wealth, etc, Note most of this things are material stuffs that fades away with time, as soon as the material attraction goes the bond goes with it too. But it only love that can stand the taste of time. Check of mytake on "Relationship" www.girlsaskguys.com/.../a25979-ending-a-relationship

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  • It's a good question actually. However I think one of the reasons is loss of motivation, and plus everyone's mental strength and willingness to pursue a solution to a problem also varies.

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  • They give up if they see no reason to persevere, and see it's easier to just try with someone else instead.

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  • "I mean these are things that can be fixed"

    Honestly, some people cannot change how they are.
    One would be wasting time being unhappy attempting to resolve things with these kinds of people.

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  • There comes time, often after years of thinking about it, that you realize that the problems can't be solved. Women start 70 to 80% of divorce proceedings in the US. by the way.

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  • because nobody want's to do other person's duties.
    when you get in conflict and the communication get ending, the relationship is going to be fall all the time.

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  • cheating is the most common, second different points of view or plans for life, third past experiences and trust issues.
    and in all conditions the amount of shared feelings and how intense they are can affect the difficulty of the decision.

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  • Sometimes it's just not fixable.

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  • piss poor attempt at finding a matching mate.

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  • Marriage is dead and women killed it. Why buy the cow when the milk is free?

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    • But the milk isn't free!

    • Show All
    • Find another cow that will give it's milk away for free. You want a cow shitting everywhere, getting fat, spending all of your money then taking half your shit when you catch it giving milk to another dude? Nah. F that.

    • Women are taught that being promiscuous is a good thing. What could go wrong?

What Girls Said 5

  • Because they are stupid, immature and lazy. Why bother fixing something when you can just take the new one? If you were rich and your TV got broken, I assume you would be too lazy to fix it, you would just go and get a new one. This is a standard for people who lack empathy and who don't get attached to others. They think that the problem is in the SO, not in them. And they think it's gonna be better with someone else or alone, until the same shit happens again. If they are somewhat bright, after 10+ attempts they might realize that the problem is them and their routine, and they might change. But they rarely do, they get addicted to the routine and they don't really bother analyzing themselves. Even if they do, it gets too much for them and then they just give up. New TV it is!

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  • This is a good question and I understand your feelings behind it. I'm actually separated from my husband right now and on our way to a divorce and it was both of our fault but I was the one who left. I did persevere to the detriment of my own self. I felt like I was dying in my marriage and I've never felt that way before. I had night mares practically every night and prayed everyday. God is so good because he answered every one of my prayers ecmxceot whenever God would answer my prayers, my husband would destroy every good thing that happened. And I can't live that way. So I honestly did every thing I could and it was a hellish marriage. Anyway, he told me to leave if I didn't like certain things so I did. So, I walked and ain't ever looking back

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    • Here's a lyric of a song I like..."I lift my eyes unto the hill, where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, maker of heaven and earth." That's actually a bible scripture too 😊

  • Here's a quick breakdown if why I'd like to get divorced.
    1. I married to young and was naive
    2. I married out of guilt, not necessarily love
    3. Huge cultural differences
    4. Huge language barrier
    5. Emotional abuse

    I don't see a way for those things to be improved or changed. So it leaves me in a hopeless place where I think divorce would be the best thing for my life.

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    • I'm sorry, Belle. I hope the best for you and hope that you get what you want :/ You're too lovely of a person to be stuck in a unhappy relationship.

    • @teawrecks well thank you darling. Whatever happens though, I'll be happy in life 😘

  • Most couples just think about their own needs, they try to live their present. The few ones who really plan for the future, and work together to overcome difficulties are the ones that continue married after long time.

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  • with some families the fights get so big that people move out or never talk to each other again.
    The difference is family has been there since you were born, and with siblings or parents its a different kind of love, they were there when you were growing up and experienced a lot more with you.
    When people break up over what seems like something small normally means that they weren't happy together and that little thing was just the breaking point.

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