Is it done for good? Can I get him back?

Is it done for good? Can I get him back?

I was dating this guy for 4 months. We hit it off realy well. About 2 months into dating he told me he wasn't emotionally ready for a relationship. At that time I wanted to take things slow so this wasn't an issue for me and I told him "that is okay for now, lets see how things go and just have fun with it". About 1.5 weeks ago he signaled he needed space; I somewhat gave it to him (come on being honest). About 1 week into hime needing space I tried calling him 2 days in a row (I needed to talk to him about a mutual friend VERY IMPORTANT) with no response and eventually got mad so left him a voicemail stating I thought he needed time to be alone and I feel that I wanted to give it to him becasue all I wanted was his happiness. I realize that the message might have come off as more angry than caring especially since it was left on voicemail. I now realize (3 days later) I made a mistake and instead of ending it I should have just given him space.

Can I get him back? How should I proceed?

I tried to keep it brief there is more to the story if you need more info ask.

We were never "in a relationship" but we were exclusive (yes we had this specific conversation)


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What Guys Said 1

  • To be honest. It was his way of saying that he wasn't wanting a relationship with you. It was his way of saying it to not hurt your feelings. It sucks to be honest because I'd rather deal with the hurt and pain of a breakup rather than having it dragged out not knowing where you stand and feeling confused about the situation.

    Its not fair on you to be left in limbo like this. I'd message him and ask him outright where you stand. Give him a few days to answer back if he doesn't then, I'm going to blunt on this. I'd move on. His silence is answer enough.

    I wouldn't even bother with a goodbye message. Just leave him exactly the same way as he left you. In silence. If he does reach out to you in the future. I wouldn't even bother answering his messages. You deserve to be treated better than this. Have some self respect and stand up for yourself.

    Good luck.

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What Girls Said 1

  • I honestly think that the best thing you can do is give him space. The only difference is that I wouldn't contact him for a month, give him time to miss you. Work on yourself, try new things, be happy and go out with your friends. Oh and post lots of pictures if you're still friends on social media. Keep yourself so busy you don't have time to think about him.
    Contacting him right now is going to make you come across as needy and desperate, especially if you rarely gave him space in the relationship. Make him chase you, not the other way around. Men are hunters and naturally like to chase the things they can't have. The more he can't have you, the more your value goes up.
    None of us can say that you'll definitely be able to get him back, but this way you'll be happier and stronger after the month is up. You might even decide that he's no longer worth your time after the month is up. But right now your emotions are all over the place and you're not thinking clearly. Give it time to breathe and yourself time to heal.

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