Ghosted on Girlfriend, Now I'm obsessed with cyberstalking her?

My girlfriend of four years & I got in a fight & I asked her for space about a month ago. That's how I ended it. She gave it to me. Checked in a few times to try & work on it. Didn't reply. Unfriended her on social media. I was done. We've broken up before & she tries to talk me into staying. I didn't want to hear her try to explain that it was a minor issue and we should just talk about it. She would remind me how I always call her after a few days or weeks & ask for another shot, so let's not break up, let's fix it. I decided if I ignored her, she'd get the hint. It took her a few weeks, but she got it I think.

Well, I read her Twitter every day. A few times a day. She hasn't been tweeting much, mostly about video games & fitness. I read her blog. Her tumblr that she hasn't used in months. I found an old blog she was contributing to a few years ago when I googled her name. I noticed she's started a new blog, and I check it every day too, even though there is nothing there! Literally the first thing I do in the morning & before I go to sleep is look her up so I know how she's doing. She blocked me on FB, or I would check that too.

Why can't I stop looking her up? I can't ask my friends, they'll say I'm stalking her or something. But she's on my mind enough that I need to know what she's doing, yet when she tried those one or two times to talk, I just ignored her. But as soon as the call went to voice mail, I looked her up on Twitter to see if she said she was sad. I honestly cannot go a day without knowing how she is & when I don't know, I feel weird, guilty, empty.

What do I do?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • You hate that she isn't begging for you back. You need some reassurance that she's sad without you. She isn't giving that to you so you're bothered. You're bothered that she isn't giving into your desperate need to feel special to her still. You hurt her. You have no right to her feelings any more. You lost that right when that first call went to voicemail. What you're doing is narcissistic and psycho. Not the stalking part but the needing to see if she's sad. That's absolutely horrible. You left her. Live with the decision and leave her alone! Stop lurking her and move on. She sounds better off without you bro

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What Girls Said 12

  • I don't understand why you won't talk to her. She clearly did not just see you as a boyfriend but she felt you were her friend too!!! It is hard to lose a friend. She tried reaching out to you and I understand wanting space but it hurts her just as much when you ignore her. It makes her feel like she has to do that too to you to get your attention just to talk. That is a lot of work. I have been in those types of relationships and it is no fun the constant ignoring just to get more attention. Stop ignoring her. Reach out to her. Make her feel god. The more you are there for her the more she will be for you. On a different level that has nothing to do with your situation but miine. I have a guy that recently unfriended me from FB but I know he constantly looks at mine. He has a girlfriend and was starting to have feelings for me so he unfriended me. But as soon as I message him he replies within minutes. But he won't send me messages anymore like he used to. Anyways I wish I knew why mean act this way. It would answer both our questions. The main thing is reply to her. You'll feel better and she'll feel better. Try to be understanding. If you want her be with her. If you don't than stay away from social media and get her out of your head!

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  • What I suggest to you is getting over this obsession. It's most unhealthy! You need to move on from this and stop dwelling on her. Love your life. Be happy for you. Give yourself a chance to live!!! And stop this ludicrous behaviour. Of it makes you nervous how do you think she would feel?

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  • You were together for four years, that's a long time, so you are obviously used to knowing every detail of her life, and now, all of the sudden you don't. Cyber-stalking is quite normal and eventually you will no longer feel the need to check up on her. But for now, you have to make a mental effort of not doing it. Maybe start by doing it less, and then on less accounts, and so forth, until you can go without doing it.

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  • Like why tf would u ghost ur girlfriend of 4 years instead of showing her respect and talking to her in person like normal? anyways. Its probably because you want to make her suffer and feel like shit, and then you want to watch the process of her emotions and to see how much pain she is because of you, and how much she talks about u on social media. U want to to see if she's doing better or worse without you, and ur hoping worse because it gives you some sort of power trip. if you really cared how she was u would talk to her in person/on phone and tell her its over instead of leaver her hanging on thinking you were taking a break. etc... just stop.

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  • You were together a long time so you're used to knowing all about what she's up to and how she is feeling and right now you don't really know what to do with that time and energy you used to devote to her. You've got to find a hobby or something else to do with your time or else it's gonna becoming very unhealthy very fast.

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  • The NCR (No Contact Rule) hit you hard. She must have googled it and used the techniques really well.

    List all the good and the bad things about your relationship. Ask yourself if it's still worth saving. Don't forget to take care of yourself and enjoy your life. Don't put your life on hold for another person.

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    • She hasn't been full No Contact. I told her I was mad at her & I needed space & not to even attempt to talk to me until I reached out first. So after a week, she called to apologize for making me mad & asked what she could do to help me feel comfortable talking about it. I ignored her, I mean, she wouldn't even listen to "wait until I feel like talking to you!" Then, she tried again last week & asked if we were over or could we talk, she really wanted to make things better, she really cares & if we just talked, we'd get through it. But I told her wait until I tell her I'm ready.

      She's a sweet person who would do anything for me, but I told her when I'm mad, I'm going to ignore you for a few weeks, maybe a month & she just gets upset. So, now I need to know how she is. My friend said I'm overreacting & an asshole, but I don't see it that way at all.

  • Ya fucked up.

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  • just no man!

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  • It's our mind's natural instinct to seek answers.

    Don't see it as "stalking". Consider it investigating.

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    • What answers would I be looking for though?

  • You miss her

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  • You should stop stalking her... you broke up with her. You dissed her

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  • Ask yourself why you feel guilty try to understand it. It seems like you need closure of some sort.

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What Guys Said 6

  • Yea that's seriously just stalking -__- ,
    Just don't.

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  • Don't cyberstalk her

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  • It's good you broke up with her but stop stalking her, wtf?

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  • It happens. Give it a few months, those urges will slowly diminish.

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  • Turn yourself in. You're a stalker.

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  • you should see a therapist, what you're doing is not normal, it isn't logical

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