What the hell do I do?

I don't know if this is in the right topic or whatever, but read my story.
I have been dating my once best friend off and on for three years. In those three years I treated him like we were married. I cooked for him, did his laundry, cleaned up after him and the entire house DAILY. Never once was I unfaithful or dishonest. I was truly there and down for him. He cheated on me multiple times and lied and always told me how it was always my fault. I guess what kept me going was my ability to forgive and to never give up. Plus times weren't always bad. Recently he told me again that he loves me and cares about me, but it's not the same love as you would need to be in a relationship with. That hurt. There were times in the past when he said he did not love me then three months later he tells me he loves me again. I changed myself completely every time we got together. Still I was never good enough. He is giving me the decision this time to choose what I want to do: keep trying or give up? Honestly I fucking love this man more than anything, but I am not happy. I think I deserve to be happy and him to be happy with someone else. I hate this so much because it hurts. Now, I talked to my friend and last night he confessed he has been wanting to date me for a long time. Guy 1 and 2 used to be best friends now they aren't. I don't want to make the wrong choices. I'll be honest and say I've liked him too, but I have always overlooked him because I thought he was out of my league. I wasn't pretty enough or skinny enough. He wants to try US. I am so scared and lost. Do I try him out, but slowly? Or continue to try with guy #1? Or do I just stay forever alone? Please understand my situation is deeper and tougher than you can even imagine.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Ah Opalweed,
    Many years ago when I was 17, I too was in love and when it ended I was truly heartbroken. During the course of my life, I have been in love and heartbroken many times.
    What I'm trying to say is that although you feel like your world has ended for now, once you have got free of this toxic relationship from this abusive man/boy you will love again.
    He has not behaved well and you deserve to be treated better. He has robbed you of your confidence during years that you should have been having fun. I have no idea why you would clean and do his laundry for him - get the lazy f***er to do his own cleaning and laundry. Seriously. Or think of it like this. He will soon have another poor girl to do it for him while he verbally abuses her and cheats on her. This is your chance to escape so take it.
    I would advise that you take a month - a whole 30 days, without contacting either your ex, or this new man (if he's really interested in you he will wait, but I have concerns about him if he was friends with your ex - why did he like him? He must know how you've been treated, so be cautious).
    You will feel as though you don't want to get out of bed and the pain will be awful but it will pass. Break off ALL contact with both of these boys and focus on the most important person here - YOU. You have been so busy trying to please your boyfriend that you need to get back in touch with what makes you feel good about being you. Gather your friends around you. Go out. Don't text, call, write your ex. Block him on all social media. Don't go anywhere you think he will be. Don't try to make him jealous by quickly going out with someone else. Just take time to look after yourself and think about what YOU want. It will be the longest month of your life but you'll feel better, I promise if you just make yourself the priority during this time.
    Your ex is ridiculous and not worth all the love and care you gave to him. Get mad. Get furious. Save love for someone who'll appreciate you (and again, don't be in a rush to think it's your ex's mate). And don't start acting like you're married to your next boyfriend until you actually are. Men don't think it's cute or caring for a girl to do their washing, they think it's great they don't have to do it anymore. Girlfriends should NOT be doing their boyfriend's cleaning!! End of.
    And never think any man is out of your league. Men like confident women so be one. And act like one until you are. Good Luck.

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