My ex boyfriend about 6 months ago told me that he wanted to take a break after 2 years of dating. For about a month we were "on a break," but after talking with friends and family I realized that I was being strung along. So I told him, for my piece of mind, that we should consider this an actual breakup, since that's what I thought he wanted all along. A month after I "turned the tables" on him we talked again and I told him that I missed him and he said that he missed me too but "isn't ready for a relationship right now" and isn't sure about our future. Afterwards he kept insisting that we should be friends. Right after this conversation I decided to go into No Contact and didn't contact him until Thanksgiving. I got a polite response but I didn't reach out again until December where i foolishly believed that I would get him to reply more. For about a month he would reply sporadically with short replies. I guess I got tired of trying to "chase after him" and went back into No Contact. I've been in No Contact now for two months and I haven't heard anything from him, even on my birthday. My friends have tried to help me see that he basically broke up with me to be single and party every weekend. Despite all of the support from my family and friends I'm still devastated that my first love left me after 2 great years together. He was my first in every sense of the word and I'm just wondering if it's foolish to think that he might reach out to me one day/ ever come back?
Most Helpful Guy
Well there's no doubt in my mind that he'll reach out in the future. You left off on relatively good terms and that's what people tend to do.
But that could be months or years from now. And to wait on that will leave you miserable. It's not fun, but the only serious way to get someone back in your situation is to move on. Which sucks, because in your head you do want to move on. But you want to move on from the pain. But in your heart you really don't want to move on. That's why you're holding onto the idea of him contacting you again or coming back and reliving all of your firsts.
You have to get your head and your heart on the same side, so that you can really move on and focus on doing things that are good for you. Like, talking with and maybe seeing other people. That's not to say it's easy and you probably don't want to date anyone else, because of your feelings for your ex. But it does help.
Don't try to get another boyfriend. You don't even need to find a new sex partner. Just go out and meet new people and get to know them. Let other guys being attracted to you raise your self esteem a bit. And remind you that you are a catch. That you were pretty awesome before your ex and that you don't need him to be that awesome girl that people enjoy to be around.0