Unexpectedly broke it off with this message?


Was seeing this girl for a few weeks. Everything was great but one Sunday she went home. Her phone was off for the day. The next day i got this message from her..." see below" inbetween the paragraphs i basical respected her decision. And told her she was an amazing person. I would like to see her again but not sure how to go about it, but definitely dont want to be friendzone at the same time.
It was a bit odd.. it came out of nowhere never ever saw any sighns of concerns. She was happy the entire time i saw and spoke to her.

THE MESSAGE

Have had an amazing time with you these few days - feel really comfortable and safe and easy going with you you (you really are great company and I appreciate your respect the most out of everything).
Thought I was ready to get out into the dating/flirting/meeting new guys scene but clearly not. Guess it was spending quality time on Friday with you that brought back a lot of memories of what things used to be like with my ex (didn't feel it when I was with you) but rather afterwards when reflecting. Still feel I compare experiences with my ex too much n that tells me I am not actually ready to start sharing experiences with someone again. Guess I want to be fair to both of us and don't want to waste your time knowing how much you have to give when you could be sharing time with someone who actually knows what she wants.

Fyi, I already like you 😊 (you treated me extra special in 3 experiences than I was ever treated in 5years), but guess that's what it is (still dealing with closure).

THANK YOU for understanding Richard - yet again, you are patient and empathetic. You are unique and I hope you use the same advice as you gave me (don't change one bit). Wish id started off with a guy like you. Don't get me wrong - its opening up to someone and sharing quality time that scares me; I don't want to lose your friendship (if you are one member short in quiz night - keep


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What Girls Said 3

  • Hm, I'm not too sure what your question is, but here's my take on it.

    She has recently gone through a terrible/bad experience with someone else, but it was someone who mattered to her a lot, hence she tends to compare another with her "ex". Probably it was the happier times both of them had together and you being with her reminded her of the emotions/feelings she felt back then.
    I do agree with her saying she's not ready to do it again. Let her have some time, she needs to have some alone time, it's the usual for most people, but probably she's the more sensitive types.

    What you can do is to encourage her, tell her that you understand her concern and feelings, and that you guys should take it slow too. Start off as a caring friend and see how it goes. Not every relationship is straight boom into one romantic relationship. Some start with friendship, and you need to start that way to give her time to heal. Also, by starting out as her friend, you get to know more about her and vice versa.

    As a girl, some of us don't show much, but in fact, we can "think too much". Keep to friendship like she suggested, and when you feel that the time is right, then perhaps let her know about your feelings.

    Good luck!

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    • Thank you for the input. She told me before that she was with one guy that lasted 5years and ended 3 years ago. When we started she said that she was ready to get out and date. But as in her last message she said clearly not..

      Her last boyfriend cheated on her with 2 other girls and had a kid with one of them.

      I wouldn't mind going slow with her and if she asked me to take it slower i would have agreed.

      How ever I have a big fear of being friendzone as its more frustrating wanting to be with someone who doesn't want to be with you romanticly, and then they end up being with another guy and you sit there thinking that that was supposed to be us...

    • I understand your feelings. There's really no guarantee about the friendzone, so the only way is to see it as a 50-50 chance. I'm also stuck in such a situation myself, and I agree it's frustrating. You should let her know about your feelings first, tell her there's no pressure, but you hope that she can give it a shot. Patience is the only solution to this alongside timing. Hopefully she doesn't let go of a good guy like you :)

  • Well you're being friendzoned, as she is not really over her ex. She said that she would not like to lose the friendship between the two of you.
    Have you told her how you've felt about her?

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    • No i haven't as she sent that message i responded to be cool and understanding about it as she said she wasn't ready and still dealing with the ex and she's not ready. I felt at the time nothing i could have said in anger or asking her to reconsider would have changed her mind. Its been just under a week right now with no contact. Im hoping she will miss/regret her choice and come back or ill wait a while let my emotions calm down and check in with her in a few weeks. I dont want to come across as needy as experience has taught me it get me no where

    • I think it would be a good idea to not say anything about how you feel towards her. He sounds like she is now in that stage of "trying to forget" she is still currently getting over her ex. Give it some time before you message her. Just not now

  • She probably needs more time.

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