My 30 year old boyfriend got a teenager pregnant?

My boyfriend and I just had a baby 6 months ago. We are both 30 and our baby was planned and we were engaged.
Later he started having mood, behavioral, and drinking issues and we started living separately. I then caught him cheating with several women... but most recently it has come to light that he is expecting another baby so soon and the mother is in high school.
The girl's mother knows about the situation but hasn't reported it. He is living with the girl and her family :/... he's 30! He apparently talks negatively about me to these people and he is putting on an act like he isn't an alcoholic crazy asshole.
I am so disturbed that I can barely function day to day. Up until I found out we were still talking on a daily basis and on good terms again.
I've been struggling as a single mom and now I get to have the wonderful feeling of knowing that the man who is supposed to be my partner is totally incompetent and sick... is this really what my baby and I get... I don't know what my question is but I think I should change my number and... vomit? Is the Jerry Springer show still on? I don't even know how to process this.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • It is really time to lawyer up and get a judgement for child support. Whatever else is going on, your child needs a source of support beyond what you alone can give it. During all the legal work, his current situation will probably become public. And do not back off if he suddenly tries to "make nice". That would just be him trying to get out of the legal responsibilities.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • The child support system is BROKEN. My boyfriend is locked into paying for two kids that aren't even his. His ex wife was cheating on him for their entire marriage, and her home state has this lovely little thing called a "paternity affidavit", and if you sign it, you waive your rights to end support later on, even if paternity test reveal that you are not the father. So I have no faith in the system being fair to all parties.

    But in your case, FILE THOSE PAPERS! If he fails and falls behind in payments, at least his ass will be locked up, preventing him from doing this to anyone else. And... her parents are just as guilty. They are not only encouraging this sick behavior, rewarding him with a roof over his head, they are contributing to her and that baby being emotionally screwed up beyond repair at such an impressionable age.

    I don't care how "mature" a teenager is presented to be, they are still teenagers with teenage emotions! He's now officially a sex offender in the eyes of the law. This also means you can have him ruled as unsafe to be around your child and bar him from visitation while still obligating him to pay.

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What Guys Said 11

  • Be there for you and your child. Live your life for the two of you. You dont need him. He sounds like a jackass and should be in jail depending on age of pregnant teen. you can get through this and will be stronger in the end.

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  • I'm so sorry this happened to you. Nobody deserves that... Like, yuck. But pray and keep strong. I know you'll make a great mommy. And maybe someday when the time is right you'll find a new daddy for your bundle of joy

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  • you're right, this is white trash central. I mean your guy is obviously an asshole and you clearly know it. So what exactly is your question to us?

    Take care of yourself and your kid... at least one of you should be looking out for that damn thing...

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    • "The damn thing". Your statement here demonstrates who is a caring, responsible, and intelligent person; not you, sir.

    • Look, I fuck around quite a bit. But I am careful, and I've never knocked a girl up. I'm actually taking this kid's side 100% in this situation. You have a fucking kid together, and you seem to be wrapped up with this guy who is knocking up underage girls, I mean wtf? To hell with that asshole, it's time for you to take some fucking responsibility and take care of your kid. Don't ruin someone's life over this petty shit. Find someone else.

      I think everyone else will agree.

    • I'm an excellent parent. I'm going to stop contact with the father to be an even better parent. You're right; it's my responsibility as a parent to protect my child from this type of person and circumstance. Thank you.

  • at least you found out now that he can not be trusted insted of exposing your kid to it. at least now you have a chance to find that someone special who will love you both and be a real dad to the kid

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  • Take this fucker to court. Tell the judge that you want every single cent from this bastard - okay, maybe not in those exact words. Get a lawyer. This idiots apparently won't ever learn.

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  • My question is this guy is the biggest loser and douchbag in the world..
    How the hell did you end up with him and even got pregnant? I mean I am sure he must have showed all these signs before you got pregnant..

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    • He's good at acting like a great person. Of course I didn't know before that he'd behave in this way.

    • Ohh ok... I guys got should can the Police and report him.. He is raping... Innocent girls... And you have no choice but to move on...

    • *I think you should call the police

  • why were you with him? a 30 year old women should be dating men in their forties.

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    • Haha hahahahaha what? Me and my boyfriend are both turning 30 in the next few months. Being with someone the same age is awesome because you have a lot of the same experiences growing up, same nostalgic crap, and are at the same stage in life (usually).

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    • Lol sure ya can, Champ!

    • @Sara413 18 -20 is where i like em.

  • Well this is definitely not a guy you want to be in a relationship with anymore, he messed everything up. Although you two will be communicating because of the child you have, don't let that lead to anything else.

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  • Welcome to the club

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  • Leave it to a woman to over react.

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  • definitely dump him...

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What Girls Said 7

  • Call the cops on him and report a statutory rape "anonymously". Then change your number and never speak to him or about him ever again.

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    • That sounds good to me. Like a weight would be lifted.

    • I love that idea! He totally deserves it from what you said!

  • I think you should tell the police about the kid he's raping and then find a good therapist for yourself. Be the voice of reason in that girl's life and then do what you can to balance your life so you can continue being an awesome mom.

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  • I'd recommend telling the police but that could backfire if the girl and her family deny the sexual relationship and just make you look like a crazy ex...

    That's a brutal situation he's put you in :S

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  • change my number and... vomit? = YES

    1. move & get new job, perhaps to parents if they will have you & well to do
    2. never talk to asshole again
    3. never have sex with anyone except lawful hubby - ever
    4. get a promising career going pronto
    5. child support would be nice...

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  • Damn... divorce!

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  • Why did you have a baby without getting married?

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    • Because in the social dynamic in the United States in modern times it's pretty much a social norm. It's not socially acceptable though for an adult to have sex with a child which is why I'm having emotional and moral distress right now and reaching out at 2 am.

    • Lots of people do.

      THAT is not the issue here, Judgey McJudgey Pants!

  • Honestly, if he's not stepping up and he's that bad with becoming an alchoholic. If the girl isn't 18 or got pregnant before 18 report his ass. You can do it so it's anonymous the girls mother should have done it herself. File for child support. If he goes and lives with someone else doesn't mean he doesn't have to support his kid. And lastly get this guy or tell him he needs to get help. No one needs a drunk in their life. Or for a father. You and your baby desrve better , he won't step up so take matters into your own hands.
    It's okay to feel upset, just remember though it's about you and your baby and what's best for you guys not him he's an idiot

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