Why do men never try when it comes to relationships :( ?

av been with my boyfriend 3 years but eneded our relationship last weekend and left him and went to stay with my dad. i was just sick of doing all the work. if we ever went on dates it was always me having to plan it everytime if i didn't mentioned going out or book the table we wouldn't go out. every birthday, celebration or holiday i always had to plan or it wouldn't happen. i did everything for him , supported him through everything when it was something important to him i would try my best to make sure it happend. but god forbid when i want a bit of support or something important to me. he dosent give a shit. after reminding him all month about something important to me at the last mintute when its too late to do it he says it slipped his mind and it was my fault beacuse i should of booked it beacuse i should of known he wasent going to despite him telling me he would repeatly. even when i was packing and telling him i was leaving he just laughed and told me i would be back. heartbroken but i guess he neevr really cared


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Most Helpful Guy

  • It sounds like you should have either worked on the relationship or ended it LONG AGO, and that you stayed in it way too long (assuming he wasn't willing to work on the relationship). Relationships require WORK, from BOTH parties, on a regular basis. Obviously everyone is going to go through bad periods in their life, where their partner may have to carry more of the load for a while, but normally that levels back out. But on-going indifference means he wasn't invested in the relationship, and that should have been a deal-breaker much, much earlier on.

    The lesson you need to learn here is not to be in denial when there is a major problem with your relationship. Problems in relationships need to be addressed quickly, and if they aren't resolved in a meaningful way, especially at your age, you need to end it.

    Most guys your age frankly aren't looking for serious, committed, long-term relationships - guys today tend not to be ready for that until their late 20s or early 30s. Thus, I'm not shocked that it didn't work out or that he wasn't overly committed to the relationship. But if a relationship is important to you, you need to make sure it's important to the guy too - even if that means you need to date older guys who are ready for a real relationship.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • He didn't care... so he's not really a boyfriend. Just a waste of space in your heart and of your time.

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What Guys Said 13

  • That is a very bad generalisation to make, first and foremost guys work, a lot, at a relationship they care about, dont be mistaken.
    Maybe after 3 years he became complacent, that happens but that does not mean you or he should give up, im sure u dont have to say it but i relationship takes work and time and commitment and compromise all of which are inportant but nost of all, none of that would matter withoit communication!!!

    Im not siding with him or you, if you tried everything and were genuinely feeling un happy well then you made the right decision, if you left because things got hard, as it does in EVERY relationship, well then...

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  • We don't know what we have until its gone, maybe if you breakup for a while and not give in, he will realize what he has, a very special girl, it happened to me. I had a great girl in my life I always took her for granted because I thought I had her and she would never leave me, I was selfish and stupid. One time she just had enough and she left I thought she would be back, but months pass by and never did. But I am glad she made that decision because I've change a lot, I have learn to appreciate those who love me, those that are around me, I've spent more time with friends and family, and appreciate the little things, I no longer take people for granted, I am not a selfish ignorant ass anymore, I just wish she could come back one more time and see the change in me, but I've push her to far

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  • No, I believe they do try, but yes how much a guy would try that depends on the guy's mental strength and ability to handle the responsibility of being in a relationship

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  • You picked a winner - sarcasm intended. Don't let one guy skew your perception of men in general.
    Your ex sounds exactly like mine... in fact if you hadn't mentioned that he was male, I would have assumed you were talking about her.
    I had to plan everything - she would ask me at times to leave it up to her, but would find a way out of it. If I didn't offer to drive to her, we didn't see each other. I wrote her notes, brought her random little gifts... she never reciprocated. Eventually I just stopped. We ended up breaking up because she felt she was doing more for me than I was doing for her - granted, she did start giving me a tad more attention, but not nearly as much as I gave her prior.
    Doesn't really bother me... it just means that I can now find someone who does care.

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  • sadly to tell you the truth when guys are younger most do not see or think about a meaningful LTR they think well if it doesn't work out theirs is always someone else. most guys in your age group are also only after the prize of sleeping with you one they have or if it stops they are on to the next one. but there are the select few that do want more and all they seem to do is find games. but sometimes they find each other at a young age and to marry for a lifetime in there early teens and 20's

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  • He is busy using you, this is only on those lazy guys that never put effort into a relationship but at the end of the day always wants to hit the pussy. He knows that you love him and now he's taking advantage of that, that's why he knows that you'll be thinking about him when you're gone. Do this, enjoy your single life now and don't ever take him back. Good luck 😉

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  • They do, but read your last sentence. He just doesn't give a shit. NEXT!

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  • Honestly, he's probably not very happy himself. When guys are miserable they don't try in relationships.

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  • I try, I try dam hard.

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  • I've been trying forever, and nothing is coming my way so I'm moving on.

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  • I'm sorry.

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  • It';s not men.

    It's that people who are giving end up giving and giving and giving to takers.

    Don't give less.

    Expect more.

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What Girls Said 3

  • You just got a bad apple. :p Trust me, there are guys out there who really will care and give you the time. <3 Dont go back to him. Show him he's not all he thinks he is. The truth is you don't need him, you're better off without. Find someone who will love you and show it! <3

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  • There is a lot better fish in the sea.

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  • would u stop guilting. I won't tell you whats coming. But Just remember some of the things i said when we talked about the future. I meant them.

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